


Scrapbooking

by Xenodike



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Bottom Jensen, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Breaking Up & Making Up, Clueless Jared, Fluff and Angst, Homemaker Jensen, Humor, Lawyer Jared, M/M, Romance, Teacher Jensen, Top Jared, Top Jared Padalecki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 10:31:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5453432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenodike/pseuds/Xenodike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Jared's the shit, he's also a shit who did not break-up with Jensen, they're re-evaluating their relationship. Jensen is a scrapbooking, Martha Stewart addicted, fifties housewife whose patience has run dry and is so broken-up with Jared. Jeff just wants a steady supply of cookies. Mark fucking Sheppard is probably the King of Hell. Chris and Chad are vagina crazy man-whores, but both of them would totally start loving dick for Jensen.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻译】Scrapbooking/剪贴簿](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6540640) by [WincestJ2CN](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WincestJ2CN/pseuds/WincestJ2CN), [yebanyihan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yebanyihan/pseuds/yebanyihan)
  * Translation into Русский available: [Scrapbooking](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10225040) by [bibigongirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibigongirl/pseuds/bibigongirl)



> **The graphics: I highly recommend that you read this story on a computer.** Those who have read my other stories like JADE knows how much I like to include links and graphics in my stories. I've taken it very far this time. Unfortunately, you might not be able to view these graphics on your tablet or reader since they require Adobe Flash Player, and it’s up to what make and model and so on you have, if Flash player is supported. It isn't necessary to interact with the graphics to make sense of the story, but I believe you'll get a deeper experience if you do. Unfortunately AO3 is being a moody B**ch and won't let me embed my graphics, so I'll link to them instead. 
> 
> **The music:** I've decided not to do a youtube playlist this time, frankly it's just not very reliable with videos being deleted all the time and all the damn commercials. I've not done a playlist at all but, [HERE'S](https://player.spotify.com/user/1228994877/playlist/03AvxlTDk15ab8JUwjjwv7) the "Ratpack" playlist I've been listening to on Spotify while writing. If you don't have Spotify, then think Sinatra, Dean Marin and Sammy Davis Jr, in their glory day's.
> 
> **The quotes:** were made by the person in question, I did not make them up.
> 
> **Archiving & Rec’s:** I’ve started to come across sites like “booklikes” and “bookreads” and what not, where my stories have been archived by creating an author account using my “pen name” and then linking to my story.
> 
> As happy as it makes me when people love my stories so much they want to share it with others. I do **NOT** appreciate when you create different accounts using my “pen name” and making it out to be “my account”. I have five accounts that I use in fandom those are; 
> 
> My private livejournal: [Xenodike](http://xenodike.livejournal.com/)  
> My fic journal: [xen_fic](http://xen-fic.livejournal.com/)  
> My tumblr: [xenodike82](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xenodike82)  
> My twitter [xenodike1982](https://twitter.com/xenodike1982)  
> My AO3: [Xenodike](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenodike/profile)
> 
> The only place I post and archive my stories are at [xen_fic](http://xen-fic.livejournal.com/) and my [AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenodike/profile)
> 
> I’m _thrilled_ when people love my stories and all rec's on twitter, tumblr etc are _very_ appreciated but these are **MY** stories, I love to share them with you all, but **I** created them and I demand the right to decide where they are archived and where I as the author have an account. 
> 
> If you know of an archive or site you’d love to see my stories archived at, send me a message, I will check the site out and decide for myself, if I want an account there or not. I’m usually very generous with my stories, I never deny a request to translate one of them and I try very hard to make sure my stories can be accessed through all new media like kindle etc. **BUT** there is a lot of blood, sweat and tears behind every story and I feel very uncomfortable when I don’t know where my “pen name” and stories are archived and how they’re being used. 
> 
> I’ve contacted all the sites where these accounts have been created and asked them to take them down. I realize that the people behind this did not mean any offense or intend to make me feel uncomfortable, but honestly, it’s just common courtesy and a sign of respect that you get permission from the content creator before using their work. My stories are **not** public property, they’re **mine** , and I gladly, _gladly_ , share them with you all, but they are still **mine**. 
> 
> From now on, if I find that someone has made one of these accounts and I can track you down, I’m sorry, but I will block you from my AO3 and my fic journal. I don’t want to do it, because honestly, writing without having people to share it with, is boring. But if that’s what it takes for me to protect my right to have control over my own stories, I will do it. 
> 
> Please understand that I cherish every reader! Every comment, every rec, is like being wrapped up in a blanket of love while being hand fed Godiva chocolate by Jensen himself. _Please_ , don’t ruin that for me.

**Martha Says:**

_"I have done nothing wrong."_

So. Jared's a pretty successful guy. Actually he's _the shit_ , he turned thirty just two weeks ago and today he made partner.

The prestigious New England law firm Morgan Kane & Murray will from this day on be known as Morgan Kane Murray & Padalecki. Yeah, barely thirty and already a partner. So Jared's the shit, he's also kind of _a shit_ , seeing as he just told, Jensen, his partner of twelve years, that he thought it would be a good idea for them to separate for a while.

Now, let's not get confused here. He's not one of those asshole men who uses a person for years and years and then the minute he gets a bit successful trades them in for a newer younger model, he's not. No, this is for Jensen. It's just, Jared's life has revolved around his education and then when finished at twenty-five, about making partner. Some would say that setting goal to make partner in less than five years is madness, it is, but Jared's always been an overachiever and he _always achieves_.

But, back to Jensen. So, Jared's life has been all about success and now he has it and he's just realized that Jensen has none. The focus has always been on Jared and all Jensen has done with his life for the past five years is manage to get addicted to Martha Stewart, and not just the show, the magazine, the books, the stuff, everything.

So, tonight at dinner, Jared, presented the idea that maybe they should separate for a while, to let Jensen " _find himself_ " and to figure out what he wants from life. Clearly he must want to do something more with his time then watch Martha Stewart. Jensen didn't take it very well judging by the way he packed a bag in record time and stormed out.

So, it all got a bit dramatic. But, Jared's sure, that in time, Jensen will thank him for this. Honestly though, a man's gotta do something more with his life then sit around watching TV all day.

It takes about twelve hours for Jared to realize that maybe, just maybe Jensen's been doing a little bit more than watching TV. The distinct lack of breakfast on the table when Jared gets up the next morning is his first clue. So is the empty lunchbox on the counter, Jared usually takes lunch with him to work, but hey, finally he'll be able to eat in the café around the corner with everyone else and not be a dork who's trying to save money by bringing his own lunch.

The joy of finally being able to eat in the café lasts until well, he actually eats there. The lunch alternatives consist of some brown, slightly burnt, flat thing with a spongy kind of whitish... stuff, which after reading the blackboard, Jared comes to realize is supposed to be a hamburger.

Other tantalizing options are pre-packaged tuna salad and what is supposed to be some kind of pasta with cheese sauce but looks more like the end of a night of too heavy drinking. For dessert there's a florescent yellow jelly thingy and brownies that Jared is too afraid to try considering the sound one of them made when the guy in front of him dropped his on the floor (and then picked it up and ate it! Gross!).

It's also around this time that Jared for the first time ever has to face the reality that the quality of food he's been enjoying for the past twelve years is not the common standard,  as well as the fact that Jensen, most likely, is one hell of a cook.

Apparently not everyone gets homemade spinach pasta with a cream and bacon sauce, where the bacon has been bought at the local butchers and the rest of the ingredients' at the farmer's market for their "everyday" dinner.  

So food. That's his first clue into the fact that Jensen just might be a little more awesome then Jared's been giving him credit for. And because this is Jared who eat, a lot, it's a pretty substantial clue!

His second clue is also food related. It's Monday. Monday's are cookie days. Mainly meaning that Jared takes the big tin jar standing on the kitchen counter and brings it with him to work, leaving it in the break-room. The tin jar is always filled to the brim with these big, crispy cookies stuffed full with chocolate chips and nuts and other amazing stuff and are so damn good people are actually standing in line when Jared comes to work on Monday mornings. In fact these cookies are so amazing Jared suspects that they might have played a crucial role in him making partner.

So it's Monday, and there are no cookies. The jar is there, but it's empty. Now, Jared's just made partner. So he can take the angry looks from his co-workers, after all he's been bringing cookies for five freaking years. Let someone else buy cookies for once.

But when evening comes and Jared's been to three different grocery stores and he can't find his cookies, he begins to feel a bit uneasy. What if he’s never able to find the cookies? What if Jensen's been buying them at some secret location? Jared forces himself to think positive thoughts and does was he has to.

He calls Jensen.  Of course, it takes a while for him to answer. Jensen's probably still a bit upset, maybe a little more than a bit, considering that he doesn't pick up until Jared's twentieth call.

"What!?!"

The tone of Jensen's voice should really deter him from taking this call any longer but, this is Jared and... yeah, this is Jared.

"Hi!" So Jensen might not be all that thrilled about Jared's call but it's still important to stay positive.

"What do you want!?!"

You know the thing is - Jared gets that Jensen's a bit perplexed and annoyed with this situation. It's scary having to think about your future and taking charge of your life but really, this rudeness is so uncalled for.  But still, Jared's determined to be the bigger person in all this.

"So, how have you been?” See, pleasant, it's really not all that hard.

"Just spit it out Jared!"

Jensen obviously disagrees, they'll have to work on that. But for the moment they have more pressing matters to discuss.

"So about the cookies..."

"Cookies! You're calling me about freaking cookies. You fucker!"

The click and then the disconnect tone in his ear are quite the surprise, as well as Jensen's new vocabulary.

Jensen is probably the least offensive person Jared's ever met, Jared's never, in the twelve years they've been together, heard him curse. So yeah, Jensen might  just be a little bit upset. It takes twenty or so more phone calls for Jensen to finally pick up again.

"Jared, just stop." This time he doesn't sound angry, just tired. It's the tone he gets when they've been discussing something and Jared knows he's closed to winning.

"Listen Jensen, all I want to know is where you buy the cookies because I've been all over and I can't find them."  Jensen sighs and yes, Jared's won.

"What cookies?"

What cookies? What cookies? How he can he even ask him that, what other cookies are there!?!

"The Monday cookies, the one's I bring to work, the one's I live for Jensen! I can't find them!"

The phone goes quiet for a few moments before Jared can hear Jensen sigh and then saying in a quiet voice.

"That's because I bake them, Jared." And then the line goes dead.

So that was kind of a shocking revelation. Not only does Jensen bake, but he also bakes the most amazing cookies known to man. So yeah, the second clue to the fact that Jared just might be a shit and an idiot, is a pretty big one as well.

The third clue that Jared just might be a shit, and an idiot comes about two weeks later. Jared, in a rage over not finding his favorite "power suit", scrapes his knees when he trips over the piles of dirty clothes in the hallway. Next, he almost throws up when instead of milk, he gets sour lumps in his mouth when taking a swig right out of the  carton and calls Jensen, again.

"What, Jared?"

At least Jensen's picking up on the first call so progress is clearly being made. But that's still so not the issue right now.

"Jensen, what the hell? Fine. You're angry with me and you're not in a place where you can see that I'm doing all this for you! But how can you be so childish as to cancel our maid, grocery delivery and our laundry service!?!"

Honestly though? What kind of person does that?

"Are you for real?" Jensen sounds furious, but Jared is just as angry. "We don't have a maid, we don't get our groceries delivered and we don't have a fudging laundry service Jared, we never did!"

"Really, then how the hell has our house always been so clean, why has the fridge always been stocked and how come I never had any problems finding my suits, up until you left?"

"Because I cleaned it. Because I went shopping.  Because I went to the freaking dry cleaners and did all our other laundry, Jared!"

Jared's pre-thought-out snappy remark dies on his tongue, he so did not expect that..."Oh."

"Oh? You suck, Jared."

So at the end of that particular phone call Jared's forced to reach the conclusion that yes, he probably is _a shit_ and _an idiot_ and a _self-absorbed dick_ , who's been so wrapped up in himself that he's not even noticed that Jensen's basically been Mr. Homemaker of the year, for twelve consecutive years.

But, just to be sure, he is a lawyer after all and evidence is everything so he sends off a text message just to be sure.

What about: Florist, personal shopper, interior decorator, car washing... person?

Jensen's reply is short, but clear: "NO"

Ok, so Jared definitely is a _shit_ and an _idiot_ and a s _elf-absorbed dick_.

Case closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Martha Says:**  

_"Without a sense of teamwork I think it's really hard to build a great business"_

Jared's world kind of shifts a bit after that bombshell and he's suddenly forced to admit that he probably doesn't know a thing about Jensen. It seems Jensen's been growing up and evolving right alongside him,  but Jared's been too busy to notice.  

Which leaves a very disturbing question, who is Jensen Ackles? And what the hell has he been doing besides, obviously, taking care of Jared for the past twelve years.

Jared can remember that Jensen graduated, they meet in college after all and Jared's completely certain that Jensen did graduate even if the memories of the graduation party are a bit hazy. He graduated in ... ehm ... he graduated in...

Jared, who's leaning against the kitchen counter sighs as he lifts a gaudy yellow juice box with a purple dinosaur on the front, yes it's a kid's juice box but . . . Kids! That's it, Jensen was studying to be a teacher.

Jared feels really proud of himself for figuring that out, for about a minute or two. Then he realizes that when you've been together with someone for twelve years you probably shouldn't have any problems remembering what they studied in college. Especially if you were in college together.

Also, why isn't Jensen working?

He's got his phone in his hand before he even realizes he took it out of his pocket. Granted their phone conversations of late have been a bit strained but this is important.

Jensen picks-up one the third tone.

"What do you want now?" Jensen has adopted this new tone to his voice that Jared's never heard before. It's empty, no emotion in it at all.  It's kind of disturbing, really.

"So hey, I've been thinking, how come you never took a job as a teacher?" When Jensen doesn't answer for a few seconds Jared continues. "I mean you studied for four years, you have a Harvard degree, you could get a good job so how come you never did?"

It takes a long while before Jensen answers, Jared can hear his quiet breathing, so slow it's almost like he's trying to calm himself. When he finally answers it's with a hitch in his voice Jared's not comfortable hearing at all.

"You really don't know do you." It's not even a question, it's a statement.

"Know what? What is it I don't know, Jensen?"

He's quiet for a few seconds longer and then; "Enough Jared, just enough. Don't call me anymore."

That final phone call kind of pisses him off. Sure, he's been a bit clueless.  Jared can see that. But he's trying here. Jensen just writing him off like that when he's trying, it's annoying as hell.

So maybe he's not been paying as much attention to Jensen and what he's been doing as he should have. And Jared's certainly able to view his role in all of this objectively. But seriously, though. So yeah, it's annoying. Also, it's kind of terrifying. The tone of Jensen's voice and his last word kind of made it sound like Jensen thinks they're broken up. And that, that is not ok. They're not broken up they're re-evaluating their relationship but they're not in any way shape or form broken up.

Even if it's becoming more and more apparent that his assumptions about what Jensen has been occupying himself with the least few years have been a bit, let's call them. . . _misguided_ , it does not mean that Jared's original concerns are still not valid. He still thinks Jensen needs something in his life, maybe more so than ever, if he's spent so long doing things for Jared.   

Jared wishes he could make him answer, make him explain why he’s so angry , besides from the apparent annoyance at Jared's previously misguided opinions of Jensen's everyday activities.

But judging by Jensen's rather frosty demeanor towards Jared at the moment, that doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon.

Turns out Jared's wrong about that. All Jared has to do to get some insight in the inner workings of Jensen is to try and reach his favorite old sweatshirt that Jensen always insisted on hiding on the top shelf in their closet. In doing so he accidentally jarred the big box next to it, almost managing to push it off the shelf down on the floor, catching it in the last second.

At first Jared makes a move to just push it back in place, that is until he sees the writing in black marker on the side:

After Jared's Made Partner

So. There's a big box stowed away in the back of their bedroom closet, clearly marked that it's for after he's made partner. Could anyone really blame him for;

A. Thinking it's a present.

and

B. Swiftly taking it down from the shelf and tearing the lid open.

What? Successful lawyers loves presents too!

Only it's contents' isn't something really cool and awesome fit for a kick ass lawyer who's just made partner.

It's scrapbooks.

Granted, at first look they all (and there's a whole bunch of them) seem to be really well made scrapbooks but still, scrapbooks. At second glance though, it strikes him that these are Jensen's scrapbooks. Jensen made these. These books might be the answer he's been looking for. This box contains Jensen.

A quick look and a big, big thank you for Jensen and his need to label things quickly reveals that the first book was made about five years ago.

It makes sense to start at the beginning, so that's what he does.

 

[A Tale of Two Boy's ](http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/romance/a-tale-of-two-boy-s-5592700?vk=SAzEfqRIZk)

 

My god, where the hell did Jensen find these pictures? He looks like he's five years old, Jensen's cute though, twinky as hell but adorable.

Adorable but apparently completely clueless. The thought that Jared didn't notice him at first, Jesus. Jared hopes it's all false modesty because damn. He can't really think, before Jared's even figured out what he's doing he's got a dial tone in his ear.

"Jared, what the hell."  
  
"You can't honestly think that I didn't fall for you right away. The way I remember it you were a damn tease for like six months. Skipping around in too small wife beaters and being all 'I think we should wait, Jared'."

The last line is said in a fake sex kittenish tone of voice.

"What?" Jensen sounds completely confused and sleepy, jarring Jared back into the fact that the reason he was even looking for the sweatshirt to begin with was because it's late and he wanted something snuggly before settling on the couch to go through some contracts before going to sleep.

"In the scrapbook. What you wrote. That you were all super in love with me after two seconds, but that I wasn't. FYI, can I just say that I did fall. . . well ok so it wasn't love at first sight but lust, totally."

Jared thinks he hears Jensen stifling a yawn before he answers: "First of all, when I say don't call me anymore, it applies to all hours including one am. Secondly, why the hell are you reading my scrapbooks. Third, you're a Harvard educated lawyer. Stop speaking like a fourteen year old girl."  

Ok, so this has to stop. Jared's trying to be patient but this little miss prissy attitude Jensen has going is getting old really fast.

"Well, to answer let me say; First, I have never agreed not to call you. I admit it may be a bit late but in my defense I lost track of time. Second, I found the scrapbooks. They're about you and me and since you're being all prissy and cryptic instead of talking to me I'm reading them to get a freaking clue about what your problem is. Third, I've got tons of time on my hands nowadays and I'm bored so I've been spending a bit too much time on YouTube. And adding to this conversation, Fourth, I wanted to add my side of this story because clearly you've misinterpreted a few facts."

"Jared, for crying out loud." There's something like desperation aching in Jensen's voice "It's my view of things, I can't misinterpret things if I'm writing from my perspective, you think I'm wrong do a damn scrapbook of your own just . . ." He sighs, tiredly, "Jared, you can't break-up with me and then keep calling me and ask me about stuff that doesn't matter anymore."

See here's this stupid idea again. Jared really needs to get this settled once and for all. "I did not break up with you. We are not broken up. All I did was suggest that we separate for a short time so you could try and find something for yourself.

On the other end Jared can hear Jensen let out what sounds like a cut-off cry of frustration before composing himself and then saying in a level voice.  "Fine, Jared you didn't break up with me, but here's the thing. I don't need to find myself, I know who I am and what I want. But clearly I've been mistaken in thinking that you wanted the same things as I do. So I'm breaking up with you."

There's very few things with Jensen that Jared truly dislikes but this snotty tone his voice takes on sometimes is one of those very few things.

"How the hell do you know that I don't want the same things when I don't even know what those things are. It doesn't work like that Jensen. We are not breaking up. You don't get to decide that."

This time Jensen's cry of frustration is loud and clear "A breakup isn't always consensual Jared, and anyway there's nothing you can do about it."

"Wanna bet?"

"God darnit Jared!"

After that very mature string of conversation they're both quiet for a while but at least Jensen hasn't hung-up on him which is a huge success. Finally Jared, of course it's Jared, can't take it anymore and breaks the tense silence.

"So what? You just decided to give up all your dreams because you fell in love with me, did you really think there wasn't any place for both of our dreams?"

It's what's really been troubling him since he finished reading. The thought that Jensen might have given everything up just for him, it's not right. Jared knows it's been all about his goals. But has it been so much that there hasn't been any place for Jensen? That's what he's really afraid of.

Jared can hear the sound of Jensen shifting in his bed, the sound of a duvet being pulled before Jensen's voice flows into his ear again. Softer this time, quiet.

"No Jared, that's not . . . I know . .." Jensen goes quiet for a few beats Jared can almost hear him trying to find words." It's always been different for me. You went to Harvard because you had a dream. I went because I could. I mean, getting a scholarship, it was never about a career or anything for me. It was just a way out. You actually wanted to accomplish something. So when you lost your college money it just came natural, you know? It's like I didn't really lose anything. I mean, you know my family. It was a lost cause from the start. But you really lost something, and I didn't want you to lose your dream too. And even with the scholarships and grants, money was tight. But I did work as a teacher, after I graduated. I worked at that Catholic boys school, you hated me working there because I couldn't officially "be out".  Remember?

Jensen goes quiet again and Jared can hear him moisten his lips, his pretty, pretty lips.  Jared wants to interrupt, ask a million questions, but Jensen's talking and maybe it's time he finally listen.

"Then you graduated and Jeff offered you this job. Then we came here to Portsmouth and you started making a decent amount of money, but the work was grueling. So I just thought it was better, easier if I just stayed at home and handled everything else so you could focus on making partner."

"Well I have! That's my damned point Jensen, I'm a partner and now you can do something for yourself."

"Jared . . ." Jensen sighs again and Jared can feel the threat of the dial tone lurking. "Jensen, don't you dare hang up on me."

"Jared, this is not a case that needs closing. Honestly, I'm not sure it can be resolved. It's like, you see everything in units of one. You're one unit and I'm one unit. You got to do your thing now it's time to make it even so I need to do my thing.  In my world Jared, we're one unit, you and me together, we are two parts of one whole and what we do, we do as one. There's no need to even things out."

Jared doesn't know what to say to that, so he settles for a very eloquent "Oh."

He can hear a quiet, tired little laugh "Yeah, oh. Good night Jared."

Jared doesn't protest when Jensen hangs up, mostly because he doesn't know what to say. Sure he sees the two of them as separate units. That's the whole point of this. That he doesn't want Jensen to live only through him. That they can be two individuals even though they're a couple. That 'us' doesn't necessarily mean that they've melted into one single being.

It's kind of a punch in the gut though, to hear Jensen say out loud that he actually has put Jared first for so long. It's almost like he feels responsible for Jared's family meltdown, that's just wrong.

He wonders how much the whole coming out disaster really has affected Jensen. For the first time in a long time he begins to actually look back instead of forward, to those early days. Jared remembers that first day of college, so expectant and determined, determined to be as good as his father, to live up to his heroes expectations, to be like him.

The plan was to graduate with good grades and then work for him and in time take over the family firm, the firm his grandfather started. Of course the plan didn't account for his roommate to be all huge green eyes, pouty lips, and perfect.

But still, even as that first year passed and lust turned into love, Jared never even contemplated that it might be a problem. His father was his hero and he'd been in court observing him during enough cases to truly believe that it wouldn't matter.

Jared had to learn the hard way that it was one thing for the legendary Gerald Padalecki to fight for the average gay man's civil rights in a court but something completely different accepting a queer son.

Apparently all gay men are equal except if it's your own flesh and blood.

Bringing Jensen home the summer between their first and second year had not gone as planned. Big fight, screaming, hurtful words. His father had called Jared a stupid fag, Jared had called him a fucking hypocrite and in the midst of all that chaos was Jensen.

But still, it was his choice. Jensen might have been the trigger but he's not responsible and Jared hates to think that he feels he is.

Maybe it's because Jensen's own family was so fucked-up. Broken trailer park home, absent father, needy mother with a new boyfriend every few months. He used to love hearing Jared talk about his life before college, about his father the great humanitarian and his perfect socialite mother. Then Jensen came into the picture and it all went to hell.

The thing is Jared doesn't see it like that. To him it all crumbled, not because of Jensen but because it was all a facade, all fake. He hopes Jensen understands that what happened would have happened even if it hadn't been him.

And it's not like it wrecked everything, Jared still got his degree. He still made partner, without any help from his father. Jared's done it all on his own. Well actually, as he's slowly starting to realize - the two of them, Jared and Jensen - they've done it together. Which makes it even more freaking important that Jensen gets to do something for himself. It's time Jared steps back and helps him reach his goals, he really doesn't see why this thought is so upsetting to Jensen.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Martha says:**

_I want you to know that I am innocent - and that I will fight to clear my name._

Jeff's a patient man, a very patient man, but when another Monday morning comes around and there's not a single cookie in sight he starts getting just a little bit testy, just a teeny tiny bit. This would be the fourth Monday in a row without any cookies. Sure there's Oreos and all that other crap stuffed full in all the break room cupboards but not _the_ cookies, not _Jensen's_ cookies. Not a single one. 

Jeff just might be a little bit in love with Jensen, which is fine, he's a confident heterosexual(ish) man who's got no problem at all admitting that he might have a bit of a man-crush on his newest partners, partner.

But for all his innocent(ish) man love for Jensen, it's nothing compared to the all-out bone crazy, all consuming, passionate, one of a kind, love of his life, affair he's got going with Jensen's cookies.

And now there's been no cookies for four weeks, four lonely, agonizing weeks. Jeff needs the cookies. Which is why, five minutes past nine on Monday morning on week four of the cookie drought, he walks into Jared's office to solve whatever the freaking hell is wrong so he can get his damn cookies before he has a complete and utter meltdown.

So yeah, just a teeny tiny bit testy.

Now, there are other signs of things being wrong. Jeff's a lawyer for Christ sake, it's his job to notice stuff. And he's worked on enough divorces to know when things are bad. Which is why, although he normally doesn't interfere with his co-workers private matters, he's walking into Jared's office.

See he doesn't care if Chad divorces his fourth airhead trophy wife, or if Chris fucks his way through the entire state of New England before dying from whatever disgusting STD's he'll undoubtedly will pick-up along the way.

No, he doesn't care, let them do what they want but this is Jared and he really likes the kid. Also, he's brilliant but more to the point he's got Jensen, Jeff could probably even deal with losing Jared if that didn't by default mean losing Jensen.

Jeff can't deal with losing Jensen.

Jeff's not the settling type of guy, he doesn't want a wife or kids or all of that other domestic stuff.  But that doesn't mean he doesn't like a well cooked meal, nice company, relaxing in a comfortable home, and cookies. Jeff really likes cookies.

Jensen gives him that. Well ok so Jared is a big part of that and Jeff can deal with the reality of knowing that Jensen's consideration has been all about helping Jared make partner more than any real concern for Jeff. But still, Jeff likes Jared and he knows Jared likes him, kind of looks up to him a bit and they're friends and in his head making Jared partner was only going to solidify that friendship even more.

Not that Jared hasn't earned it. He has, big time.

But Jeff had a plan. Jared would make partner and they would all be friends. He would continue to be invited for Thanksgiving, Christmas and all those other nice holidays. Jensen's turkey, Jensen's stuffing, Jensen's mulled wine, Jensen's cookies.  

They, that is Jared and Jensen, were going to buy a nice house and Jeff could come over on weekends and show Jared the best way to fix the plumbing or paint the windows or some other manly thing before sitting down for amazing dinners or a cold beer on the veranda after a long and sweaty day of whatever it is you do when you have a house.

Eventually they'd have kids one way or the other, adoption is fine but really with their genes they should go for surrogates. So then there'd be kids, pretty kids with floppy hair or big green eyes and he'd be cool Uncle Jeff.

Yeah, Jeff has a plan, and now there's no cookies, no cookies means his plan is in danger.

Jeff doesn't want all that domestic stuff, but he wants' it for Jared and Jensen. That way he can crash the domesticity party once in awhile getting all the good stuff and then leave when it gets annoying.

So, that's why at five minutes past nine, on the fourth Monday of the cookies drought, Jeff walks into Jared's office.

Now, Jared would be the first to admit that this "make Jensen independent or something similar" plan of his hasn't gone exactly like he thought it would. Which, fine, he can improvise. But more to the point, he kind of thought it would be like a five day thing or something, tops.

Jared's now on his fourth  week  lacking Jensen, it’s september for chrissake, their separation has officially entered a new  month, this is not how he pictured things. He can't really remember ever going four weeks without Jensen around. If he's brutally honest the longest amount of time they've ever spent apart is probably something more like a few day's... to be more exact, two days (a conference thing during which they talked on the phone at least ten times).   

Yep, that's it, the grand total of longest period of time spent apart in the past twelve years is a staggering two days. Well, up until now that is. Now it's thirty-one days and it's starting to feel a bit too long.

Jared can feel his well meaning plan slipping through his fingers and turning into something  he didn't plan. Whatever that plan was.

Which you know, is kind of stressful. So having Jeffrey Dean Morgan barge into his office at five past nine on a Monday morning looking at him like he just murdered a puppy and saying:

"What did you do to Jensen? How are you going to fix it? And what the fuck Jared!? I want my cookies!"Well, it's just not what he needs right now.  Jared feels like throwing a tantrum and then booting Jeff out the door, but instead he just lets out a frustrated squeak before dropping his head down on his arms that lay folded in front of him on his desk.

"Jared. Last time. Cookies. Now."

Well that made absolutely no sense, only Jared's known Jeff for five years now so it kind of does. Jared sighs into his arms before lifting his head and then, even though he has a slightly bad feeling that maybe people might not see it his way, sings like a bird.  

The whole story, in vivid detail, takes about thirty minutes to recount. Thirty minutes in which Jeff sits completely still and listens, face blank, void of any opinions or emotions. Or more to the point, whose side he's on. When Jared's finished, Jeff stays quiet. He stays quiet for a very long time. Jared would like to fill the empty room with words but he's got a feeling that wouldn't be in his best interest. Jeff’s kind of a badass, he’s like a rough biker type, with a cool stubble, and leather bracelets peaking out of the hem of his immaculate Armani, suit, that he totally rocks the shit out of. Finally Jeff fishes up a cigarette and a lighter from one pocket on his suit jacket and lights it.

Jeff takes a long drag and holds it before exhaling, filling the room with the sticky smell. He reaches over for one of many discarded coffee cups littering Jared's office and taps the cigarette on the rim flicking off his excesses ash into the cold coffee. Finally after another inhale and exhale he looks at Jared, moistens his lips and then:

"Jared, you're one of the most brilliant young men I've ever met. There's a reason I recruited you right out of law school and you've never made me regret that choice. You've lived up to everything I ever expected of you. But, and this is a big but, half of your brilliance is Jensen. Smart young Ivy league professionals with big potential and bigger ambitions, honestly Jared, they're a dime a dozen. What makes you different is that you've got Jensen. He's the one who's made it possible for you to get to where you are so damn fast, without him your life so far would have been a whole lot more difficult."

Well, Jared knows that, so he might have been a bit slow on the uptake with this particular realization but still, not an asshole. Jeff pauses for a second before continuing;

"Look, my point here is you need Jensen, which I know you know too. I get what you wanted to do, and honestly that's big of you Jared, really. But did you ever consider that maybe Jensen already knows what he wants, that maybe he's already working toward whatever that is. I mean, I might not know Jensen as well as I know you but he honestly doesn't' strike me as someone who just drifts along, I think he's got things pretty well figured out and you just need to get a clue of what that is."

Jeff's right, of course he is, Jeff's like Yoda except hot.

"I know..." Jared gives off a pathetic little whimper "Crap, am I an ass?"

Jeff lights another cigarette, leaning back in the leather chair he's claimed, his lips curving up at the question; "No, just spoiled rotten. But I have a feeling this little crisis is going to fix that." Boy will it ever, if, no, when this little misunderstanding is cleared up he'll make sure to never ever forget how good he's got it.

He's about to say something when his office door opens and hey! when did his office door become a no knocking zone? The firm's two other partners Christian Kane and Chad Michael Murray also affectionately  known as “the Chlamydia twins” walk into the office. It’s always been a mystery to Jared how two so utterly morally offensive people, who obviously have no sense of right or wrong and who spend what free time they have breaking about a dozen laws, while screwing everything that moves, can be such brilliant lawyers. But after five years Jared’s accepted that it’s just one of those big mysteries the universe throws out there every now and then and that there’s just no point in trying to understand.

Chad, blond hair in an unkempt mess on his head, with a three o’clock shadow and crumpled clothes - making it obvious he’s not the spent the night at home with his, granted very stupid, wife and plans on taking his morning shower in his office as he does most mornings - walks over to Jared's desk and pushes a few coffee mugs out of the way before placing himself comfortably on top of it. Chris, in an equal state of disarray except for his long brown hair that’s tied back, sprawls himself in one of the other chair and stretches his jeans clad legs out infront of him scraping his well worn cowboy boots on Jared’s carpet - Chris doesn't believe in suits - before saying;

"So, spit it out."

Both he and Chad look expectantly at Jared while Jeff just looks mildly amused. "What?"

Chad sighs and rolls his eyes before answering instead of Chris; "Look, tall dark and intellectually challenged, we all know you've been moping about something. More to the point you've been moping about Jensen. Which leads us to the very amusing conclusion that you, Mr. American Dream, are in the dog house and we want all the dirt! Jeff might be senior partner but we're partners too and we want in on all the drama, drama that is about you - not us - which just makes it so much more entertaining."

"Wow, the love and support is just all consuming." Jared can feel the dryness of the words leaving his mouth. He don't have the energy to tell the whole story again and doesn't feel like having his crisis be the amusement of his two fucked-up friends. But Jeff, great guy that he is, kindly fills them both in on Jared's little domestic disaster.

They laugh of course, very loudly and for a very long time. At one point Chad falls off the desk, but still doesn't stop laughing.

"Thanks' guys. Your compassion is touching, really." Jared's voice is icy, as he looks over at what're supposed to be his three best friends. "I mean, I realize that my life becoming a train wreck and me being close to losing the love of my life is amusing to you, and really, why wouldn't it be? I mean this way you won't have to bother with Sunday dinners, being forced to come over on useless holidays like Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving. I mean after all, it's not like Jensen's turkey is life changing or anything . . .  and hey, Chad, this time when your wife leaves you, you won't have to worry about coming over and being doted on and fed pie and cookies and homemade ice cream. . .  and . . ."

Jared's really just getting started on the meltdown he can feel coming, but he's stopped by one of Chris fists connecting with his face and then hitting the floor face first. Jared lets out a manly sound of pain before managing to at least get over on his back, one hand holding his face and then looking up at Chris.

"What the hell!?! Jesus! That fucking hurt Chris!"

Chris is just standing over him looking completely unfazed. "Of course it hurt, idiot that's the freaking point. Now stop your fucking whining, Thanksgiving is two months away and if you haven't fixed this disaster by then I'm not going to be happy, I want Jensen's turkey!"

Jared opens his mouth to protest but Chris stops him again. "I mean it Jared, your drama is amusing but only because it's temporary, now fix this shit with Jensen or I swear I'll steal him from you and live happily ever after."

Jared who's now managed to sit up, still holding his bruised face in one hand, rolls his eyes before saying; "Really? Good luck with that, last time I checked you're straight, and Jensen is _one-hundred percent man_!"  

"I know . . ." Chris walks over and sits down in the chair again. He leans forward so his bent arms are resting on his knees, looking straight at him ". . . but Jared, if I thought I had a chance in hell with Jensen I'd start loving dick faster than you can say 'extra sugar, please'."

After that things kind of travel just a little bit south of the twilight zone . . . Chad agrees that yes, he'd totally go gay for Jensen too because apparently Jensen's dick up his ass is a small price to pay for . . . well Jensen, and totally trumps a vagina any day.  Jeff doesn't say anything but suddenly his obsession with the Monday cookies is a little worrying. The whole thing reaches its peak when Chad bangs the door to Jared's office open and proceeds to hold an office wide "who would go gay for Jensen" poll. The number of male hands in the air is like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over his head.

As Jared slowly drags himself from the office, (he really, really, needs a personal day) his hand still pressed against his sore face an even more startling thought hits him, all those hands, that's the straight men, what about the gay ones? Oh god, he's screwed.

"Shouldn't you be working?" Jensen's voice is like a thousand singing angels.

"So, apparently all my friends and about seventy-five percent of the men in my office would go gay for you. "

Jared can't really judge the sound of his own voice but he's guessing it's something in-between whiny five-year old and possessive, slightly insane murderer.

"Has Chad ever done . . ."

Jensen's voice stops him before he can continue.

"Jared stop, no more, no talking about Chad and any of my body parts in the same sentence. You might unintentionally infect me with something nasty just by talking about it. And no Jared, before you ask, none of your friends have ever come on to me."

"Are you sure?  What about other men? I've been informed that although most straight men don't like dick in general your particular dick up their ass doesn't seem to be a problem."

"Well, you should know that I prefer the P.E.N.I.S to be in me, and there isn't a chance in H.E.L.L that any of theirs are ever coming even close."

Jared can't help but laugh under his breath a little as Jensen quietly spells out the words Penis and Hell.

"Jared," Jensen's voice is worried, which kind of makes him want to dance a little, "are you ok? What's going on?"

"I don't know..." He really doesn't. This thing that started out so clearly in his mind has mutated into something so far from what he planned. " This isn't what I wanted. I'm trying to do something good here and it's all turning out wrong and I can't figure out why." Before Jensen can say something Jared quickly adds "and my face really hurts."

Jensen's voice is soft when he begins to talk again: "I know Jared, it took me a while to get it, but I know what you're trying to do. But I don't need it Jared. I know what I want and what I need, and it's not what you think it is. Anyway, what happened to your face?"

"Chris punched me!" He can't help but cringe a little at the whiny tone of his voice but he's still gonna go for it in case it might just invoke Jensen to feel a tiny bit sympathetic,  "Right before telling me he wants to steal you from me."

"Jared! Chris, Chad, it's the same thing, no talking about them and me together, I can almost see the cloud of STD's racing towards me. Why did he hit you?"

Jensen does sound sympathetic, and worried. Yes! If anything he make his voice sound even more pathetic and even though this is a phone conversation Jared still goes all out with the sad puppy eyes hoping he can somehow mentally project them.

"So I'd make sure he'll get your turkey for Thanksgiving. So, ok, you know what you want fine, I made a mistake come home and I'll never do something stupid like this again."

"Well you can tell Chris that punching you is a sure way of making sure that he'll never get any of my turkey, ever again. Honestly though, you're supposed to be grown men!"

Jensen goes quiet for a few seconds and Jared think he's not going to say anything more but then: "I'm not coming home though. I know what I want but you don't. I don't even think you really know me anymore. You've been focused on making partner for so long and focused only on that. Now you've made it and it's time you figure out what else you want out of life. I know what I want, but I'm not sure we want the same thing .  I've got to go. Put something cold on your eye when you get home."

He does, when Jared gets home he takes out a bag of something frozen from the freezer before walking into the bedroom and staring at the box standing by his bed.  Jared thinks he might just be a little bit mad. What does he want?  He wants to be partner and he wants Jensen. There, settled. He knows what he wants, easy peasy.

So yeah, Jared knows what he wants. Now he just has to see what it is Jensen wants and things will be fine. Really, though. Partner, Jensen, what else is there?


	4. Chapter 4

**Martha Says:**

_"Skylands, my home in Seal Harbor,[Maine](http://www.acadiamagic.com/welcome.html%20/), is a magnificent place..."_

 

[My Dream Home](http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/all/our-home-5605987?vk=ge6lxuK6N4)

 

Ok, so a house. Obviously Jensen would want a house. Granted he's worked wonders with their crappy one bedroom apartment, but _obviously_ , he'd want a house.

And Jared of course is an ass, since Jensen was so damn sure Jared would give it to him as soon as he possibly could and it hadn't even crossed his mind. _ASS_!

Jensen doesn't just want a house, he needs a house. Needs the light wood floors and the open fireplaces. Needs the beach garden and the guest rooms. More importantly, needs the enormous country styled kitchen which will give him lots and lots of room for baking and cooking and baking and cooking at the same time!

Jensen _needs_ that kitchen.

Suddenly it strikes Jared as completely ridiculous that he ever thought Jensen working was a good thing, why on earth should he waste his time doing something as mundane as working when he could be cooking, for Jared? Of course he gives himself a few well deserved mental slap for that un PC thought, the whole point was so Jensen could do something for himself and not for Jared.

But since Jensen doesn't seem to agree he's going to keep indulging himself in salivating thoughts about what Jensen could do with a big kitchen, and really about what Jensen could do with a house, period.

So, partner, Jensen, and a house. Okay, Jared can see that a house is something he'd want just as much as Jensen.

So a house, Jared can totally do that. He makes a quick call to his accountant (they’re a very successful firm and new England is filled to the brim with other very successful people who need very successful legal aid) before reaching for his laptop setting beside him on his bed and opens it up.  Google pops into his field of vision and he quickly types: beach house Portsmouth Maine

So obviously there are a lot of realtors in New England but after some shopping around and a few phone calls he's got five viewings booked in with Mark from "Portsmouth real-estate" the following week. Now all Jared has to do is convince Jensen he needs to come with him.

Which is why Jared leaves it to the very last moment before he call’s Jensen. Years of experience has taught him that the longer Jensen has to think things through, the less likely it is that he’ll go along with whatever crazy idea Jared’s come up with.

"So, we're buying a house and if you want any say in what kind of house that'll be, you need to give me directions to your very temporary living arrangements so I can pick you up tomorrow."

Jensen's quiet for a second before;

"Jared, have you read more of my scrapbooks?"

"That's completely irrelevant." Jared has a feeling that if he admits Jensen is right he'll object.

"You have, Jared . . ." and here it comes, damn it.

". . . it's a nice thought but buying a house just because I want one is not the way to get me back."

When the disconnect sound reaches his ear he's not surprised or deterred for that matter. While looking up a realtor Jared's come to an understanding with himself. Jensen is stubborn but Jared's a damned lawyer, a really good one. This is one case he's going to win. Of course some cases you just can't win on evidence alone, sometimes you have to be a bit creative. So it's time to get dirty.

A short time later Jared types the final letter in his message and gives it a quick read-through before hitting send, thereby initiating the following conversation.

  
  
  


 

Yeah, Jensen loves him and Jared's going to win. He's got a box full of evidence and a whole lot of newly reinstated free time. Jensen doesn't stand a chance.

At precisely five minutes to ten the following day, Jared drives up to Jensen's temporary apartment complex. He's already standing on the sidewalk waiting. He looks impeccable of course, dressed in charcoal grey dress pants and a moss green shirt with a cardigan matching his pants in color casually draped over his shoulders.

So fucking preppy and it's adorable!

Jared doesn't look quite as impeccable, seeing as Jensen's been handling the whole washing/drying/ironing/stain removal/buying all his clothes and arranging them in readymade outfits on hangers so he doesn't have to pick out any clothes by himself- thing. Jensen seems to concur with Jared's assessment if the curved eyebrow and slight tick in his left eye as he gets into the passenger seat is anything to go by.  

Jared can see in the corner of his eye how Jensen carefully folds his hands neatly but tightly on his knees as he looks over at his not ex boyfriend, as if to physically stop himself from reaching out and trying to correct whatever it is that's bothering him. Jared faces the scrutiny and quiet but obvious disapproval of his appearance without a care. He's too busy being overwhelmed with Jensen, in close proximity, in his car.  He's next to him after being apart for so long, almost six damn weeks, and God, so pretty!

Jared figures he should probably say something, hello might be good. Fortunately Jensen seems to be affected by the same tongue-tie that he is. The spell is broken when Jared remembers the cookies! and discreetly starts looking around for anything that could resemble a container holding very tasty cookies.

Well, he tries to be discreet, he's really not and Jensen soon opts to put him out of his misery by reaching into one of the pockets of his cardigan and pulling out a small cellophane bag with a blue and white polka dot ribbon tied in a bow around the top. Jared quickly counts ten small cookies.

Ten, really it's like a drop in the ocean considering what he's used to, but right now it's a damned miracle. His hand actually trembles as he reaches out and takes the small bag Jensen's holding out to him with a far too amused smile on his lips.

In a time like this the right thing to do would probably be to give a sincere thank you, carefully put the small bag away somewhere safe and then start the engine. Jared's not big on doing the right thing, instead he opts for the completely un-proper thing to do and rips into the cellophane and quickly pulls out two cookies at once and starts devouring them, sending crumbles flying all over himself and the car.

Jensen handles the whole situation very well, his only reaction the discrete movement of his hands as he brushes cookie crumbs of his pants. Although later Jared will swear to himself that he saw a slight tick in Jensen's jaw as Jared moaned out his extreme approval of the cookies.

When he's done Jared tries to repair some of the damage he did to the small bag and carefully puts it away in the glove compartment. Jensen still hasn't said anything and although not the chattiest person in the world, he's usually not this quiet. It's starting to freak Jared out. But for the life of him Jared can't think of something to say to break the ice except "Please, please, please take me back!" and somehow he doesn't think that would be the right thing. So instead he opts for: "So, Mark's probably waiting . . ."

Jensen nods and replies with the slightly more eloquent, "I would think so."

The drive to the first house isn't long, but it just feels wrong, in all their time together, not even in the very beginning has it ever felt so tense between them. Jared just wants the tension to stop, wants the familiarity back.

When they reach the house Jared can see a middle aged man, in a dark well fitted suit with a eye-catching red tie, standing by the front door fiddling with his phone. Once out of the car Jared starts walking towards the house when he's suddenly stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Jared, for the love of . . . stand still." And then suddenly Jensen's hands are everywhere. In Jensen's defense Jared has to admit that he held out for a long time, he really did. But it seems that the thought of having to face a realtor with Jared in his current visual state is just too much for him. He pulls and probes and straightens and at some point he takes out the old bottle of water lying on the floor of the car's passenger seat, wets a handkerchief (what 30 year old guy carries handkerchiefs?! Honestly, adorable!) and starts rubbing away at spots on Jared's shirt, before finally wetting his hands and doing his best to get Jared's hair under control.

It's the best two minutes Jared's experienced in the last three weeks, he just stands still and let's Jensen work his magic. Somehow, with only his hands a handkerchief and a bottle stale water Jensen manages to make him look respectable.

It's an icebreaker. Somehow Jensen's little meltdown is so familiar that it just throws them back into the relaxed sphere they've had with each other for so many years. Jared smiles, Jensen smiles back and it's over, they're them again. Not them as in everything's fixed, but them as in they're comfortable.

It takes Jared two minutes to start loving his new realtor. Mark's a professional, a real salesman, he's the kind of guy who could sell snow to an Inuit. Considering the challenge Jared's got on his hands with convincing Jensen, Mark is just the kind of guy he needs on his side. They'd talked a bit on the phone before this meeting so Marks up to speed on the whole situation and very committed to selling Jensen a house. Because that is the goal of the day, sure the thought of a house is so obviously a thing Jared wants too, now that it's been pointed out to him. But really, a house is a shell and Jared wants a home, and for that he needs Jensen. So, he and Mark have to find the right house for Jensen to turn into their new home.

It has to be just right, the process of unraveling Jensen through his scrapbooks has opened up knowledge Jared hadn't been aware of himself having for a long time. Of course he knows Jensen. Twelve years together, of course he does. He's just been so wrapped up in other things the knowledge has been pushed far, far back. But now when he's started to pull at the threads,  they're all jumbling back into the front again.

So , Jared knows they've got to get it right, because for Jared a nice house, it's a normal thing, he's had it, the whole crappy apartment deal has been a temporary thing in his life. But Jensen, he's a trailer park kid. He doesn't like to talk about it, but Jared knows he hated it. Granted, Jared's not an expert on trailer parks and he's sure that a lot of them have an undeserved bad reputation and that there are probably quite a few nice ones filled with good people. Jensen didn't grow up in one of those, he grew up in one of the bad ones, and he hated it. The broken furniture, the disorganization, the TV-dinners and endless line of his mother's new boyfriends.

Jensen doesn't want to climb the property ladder, he wants a nice home to stay in, a home to build memories in, a home to live his whole life in. Jared might be a shit and an ass and a clueless idiot but this much he does know.

So this house hunt, it's important, really important.

It's also really freaking hard, five amazing houses in and Jared's starting to realize that this search might take more than a day. The most frustrating part is he doesn't know what they're doing wrong. The houses have been everything the pictures in Jensen's scrapbook indicate he would want but even though he's been full of praise for all the houses, Jared has known immediately from his body language that they're just not right.

Mark seems equally frustrated even though he doesn't let it show in front of Jensen. Jared had really hoped they'd be able to settle the whole house buying project today so he could get on with the whole winning Jensen back thing. He's not technically on a schedule but really, Jensen's been gone for almost four weeks now. That's almost a month, a damn month! Jared sighs and walks out the front door of the last house, joining Jensen and Mark on the patio. He's intentionally lingered a bit in the house, just to give the impression of actually being interested and not here just to follow Jensen around until they find something he likes.

Meeting Mark’s eyes they share a wordless frustration before covering it up when turning to Jensen. Jared's just about to open his mouth to make arrangements for a new date when Mark precedes him.

"Look, guys I know it's been a lot of impressions but if you've got the time I have one last house that I'd like you to see."

 

The plan had been five houses, five without Jensen knowing they were  carefully picked out houses, but one look from Mark says he might have a trick or two left up his sleeve.  Jared looks at Jensen who just gives a small nod and it's settled. Mark drives away first with them following.

It isn't long before Mark turns onto the driveway of a waterfront property on Ocean Boulevard right at the edge of Ray Harbor State Park. The location is perfect, even though it's a waterfront property, the park's lush vegetation just behind them and the pebble beach in front of them provide a sense of seclusion, even while the closest neighbor can be glimpsed through a few trees.

It's quaint, there's no other word to describe it better. The garden shows signs of once being loved and well cared for but you can see it's been a while. The flower beds edged with stones from the beach are now almost hidden beneath weeds. The fruit trees are still beautiful but in need of some serious trimming. The pond in one far corner is just a muddy hole instead of the beautiful water feature it once was.     

The house is in good shape though, a classic two-story seaside Victorian house painted white with beautiful and intricate gingerbread woodwork, a front porch with an actual porch swing, all topped off with an honest to god tower.

Jared looks over at Jensen, there is a slight interest in his eyes but the state of the garden and the fact that the house, although well cared for looks uninhabited is holding back any real interest.

Enter Mark . . .

"Jensen . . ." Mark walks over and very subtly slings an arm around Jensen's shoulder letting it travel down until his hand lands lightly on the small of his back. Jared would be a bit put out if it wasn't for the fact that he knows a full frontal assault when he sees it.  "thanks so much for agreeing to see this one too, I know you're only here as a second opinion but really, our boy Jared here needs all the help he can get so, to me it's clear who it is I need to convince."

He's good, damn good and Jared does his best to trail after them quietly as Mark smoothly guides Jensen through the garden towards the porch. Jared figures the accent being spoken with a rough voice isn't hurting either and quietly thanks his lucky stars that Jensen has a thing for English costume dramas and Alan Rickman.

"Now Jensen, I know it looks a bit unconvincing right now but just give me a moment and it'll all be clear."

They've reached the porch when Marks starts bringing out the big guns. "As you can see the house has been uninhabited for a while, let me just assure you right now that it's been well cared for all this time. As I'm sure you know Portsmouth is one of the oldest, probably the third oldest, city in the whole country, settled in the sixteen hundreds. This house, isn't quite that old but it was built way back in eighteen-seventy-four so it still has quite a lot of history."

Marks stops for a while and Jared can see him discreetly observing Jensen as he gently guides him into the house. Right inside he stops, most likely to give Jensen a chance to immediately suck in the atmosphere and take in the scale of the entryway so much grander inside that it looks from the outside. The ceiling height is impressive and so is a grand staircase. Mark continues his onslaught

"You know, I've been thinking about this house since Jared called me but I was afraid you'd be scared off by its history."

"History?" It's the first time in the whole day Jensen's' asked an outright question, one worded sure but it's definitely progress.

"It's all very sad, it was built by George Tucker and it's been in the Tucker family ever since, the last people who lived here was his great, great  grandson Tom Tucker and his wife Emily, married almost sixty years. But you know age and a house like this just don't mix so they had to move to a retirement home a few years a ago. The plan was for their son Thomas to move in here and he'd been keeping it as a weekend home while making some much needed repairs like new wiring and plumbing and he just finished it when both Tom and Emily passed away just a few days apart."

As he talks Mark guides Jensen through room after room, the sitting room with it's beautiful fireplace carved from limestone, the drawing room with its large bay window with its remarkable ocean view, a large reception room with another grand limestone fireplace and floor to ceiling windows.

"So, Thomas did all this work, and then - and it's just so tragic - but just as it was finished and he and his wife were driving down here, they got in an accident and Thomas was killed."

Told by anyone else it would sound like the sappiest thing. But as he guides Jensen through the house, up the stairs and through the large inviting bedrooms, the nursery and master bedroom with it's en-suite with the original large copper bathtub Mark masterfully weaves the tale of the Tuckers and their tragic fate.  Once they make it back down again and into the grand dining room and finally to the large kitchen he's got Jensen wrapped around his little finger.

"So, now Moira, the surviving wife, she just doesn't want anything to do with this house so that's why it's empty. You can't blame her really, it was never her house and since she and Thomas never had children there's no one to pass it on to. So she just wants it gone. I've been told to sell it to the first interested party and really the price is ridiculous for a house like this. I just . . ."

Mark makes a dramatic pause and discreetly turns to look at Jared giving him a look to be ready because he's about to go for the kill.

". . . it pains me Jensen, it really does to sell this house to just anyone, it's so full of history and has been such a family home for generations."  Mark casually places his hand on the doorframe to the walk-in pantry drawing Jensen's attention to the lines, dates and names adorning the frames, indicating generation after generation of children having their height measured at the same spot.

"Personally I really just love this house and I'd like to see it go to someone who would really love it and not just be a weekend house to some city hotshot who wouldn't appreciate it like it deserves."

They continue through the large double doors leading out to the back garden leading all the way down to the pebbled beach and the large dock belonging to the house and the charming gazebo sitting on it.

"Jensen, I can tell you'd be a person who understands the value of a house like this, that's why I wanted you to see it. I don't mean to impose on your private affairs but I'm led to believe that your current living arrangements are . . . temporary. So you can see why I wanted you to see this. I mean, this place, Tom actually proposed to Emily right in here . . ." the words are timed perfectly with Mark opening the double doors to the gazebo. ". . . I know I'm overstepping my bounds here Jensen but when I saw you and Jared today I just had this epiphany and I knew you two would be perfect for this house."

It's a done deal, even though Jensen hasn't said anything Jared knows this is the house, he can tell Jensen is completely smitten.

"So, Jensen, what do you think?"

Jensen doesn't get the chance to answer before Mark adds "Wait, don't answer that now, just take your time, walk round the garden, go inside again and look around without me babbling beside you all the time. Talk to Jared, then tell me what you think."

In all the years Jared's known Jensen he's never been this easy. He just floats through the garden, inspects the flowerbeds, smells the roses on the rose bushes lining the back of the house before entering the house again. He stops in the doorway to look over at Jared who with a sign of a hand indicates he'll be right with him.

Mark's a magician or possibly the King of Hell, there's no other possible explanation for that little demonstration of mind control.

People who've never meet Jensen and just hear him described to them tend to underestimate him or picture him as some little feminine dramatwink, that's so far from the real Jensen you can get.

Jensen is all man, his voice is soft but deep and depending on nightly activities sometimes a bit on the rough side. His style might be a bit on the preppy side but his clothes are not trimmed with lace or pink.  They're tweed, wool, cotton and khaki, in soft colors taken right from nature's more muted color palette.  

So he makes door wreaths, has an organizational chart for their linen cupboard, bakes cookies and curls up on the couch with a nice cup of tea and the latest issue of Martha Stewart Living. He also unclogs the sink, hunts spiders and can change the tires on the car without breaking a sweat.

In short, Jensen might sort of be a fifties housewife but he's a really awesome one and he certainly doesn't take shit, from anyone. Which is why Mark fucking Sheppard is a magician or possibly the King of Hell, because he's just completely floored Jensen and made him eat out of his hand.   

Jared wants to run into his arms and declare his eternal love, but seeing as he's already got an eternal love he goes after Jensen instead, he'll have time to properly thank Mark later.

Walking through the house alone with Jensen is torture, pure and cruel torture. Jensen's hands can't seem to stop touching, caressing, stroking everything they can get a hold of. His fingers glide over the marble countertops so sensually. The way he bites his bottom lip when his hands continue down to the country styled porcelain sink with its old fashioned, copper faucet is slightly pornographic. The motion of Jensen's closed hand stroking up and down the staircases round railing is practically obscene. Who knew house viewing could be erotic? Thankfully Jensen's dilated pupils, his shallow breaths and the way he keeps moistening his lips gives away that he's even more affected than Jared.

When they reach the master bedroom again, the old but polished wood floors creaking a bit under their feet, Jared clears his throat and tries to cast off the feeling of insane arousal he's experiencing watching Jensen go crazy about a house.

"So, I think this is the one, I'm thinking of putting in an offer with Mark right now what do you . . ." Jared doesn't get any further before he's got an armful of Jensen doing his best to crawl down his throat. It seems affected might have been a slight understatement. Apparently insanely horny is more accurate. In any case, Jared's not going to go into an internal fixation on semantics and motivation, he's a little busy with the insanely hot kiss Jensen's begun. He moans deep in his throat and wraps his arms tightly around the wonder that is Jensen.

Seeing as Jensen's already crawled halfway up his body it's just a natural progression that Jared grabs a hold of the most amazingly perky and perfect ass to ever walk this earth and hauls him up so he's wrapped tightly around Jared's waist. Jensen's beautiful hands that mere minutes ago were wrapped up in a serious R rated affair with this house are now all over Jared's body all at once. Around his neck, pulling on his hair, at some point he's started a quiet keening sound that's so unbelievably hot Jared has a hard time stopping himself from just throwing him down on the floor and having his way with him. In a show of massive restraint he scraps that idea and opts for just turning around and pushing Jensen up against the nearest wall instead.  

Jared goes down on Jensen's neck like it's his way to salvation and in doing so unintentionally frees up Jensen mouth. Somehow between moans and grunts he manages to say "Just so you know, I haven't forgiven you, and this doesn't mean things are back to how they used to be." Jared finds it a little bit unsettling that Jensen somehow is able to produce complete sentences, correct grammar and all, in their current situation, he's even more unsettled by what he's saying and makes his point by biting down on the base of his neck, hard.

Jensen cries out and pulls his hair even harder, but annoyingly enough he continues "I mean, we're making progress . . ." Jared agrees and makes a point of letting Jensen know by grinding his hips in just the right way while sucking on the sore spot he just bit down on.  "...but, but, but Jared, we, I mean, I, we, you, work, yeah, god!"

So much for good grammar and cohesive sentences, it's completely irrelevant at this precise moment anyway. They're busy, Jensen is soft where he should be soft and hard in just the right places and soon Mark's going to come in and . . . Jared suddenly stops his current obsession with  Jensen's right collarbone when their location and the fact that their realtor might walk in any minutes hits him. Jensen protests very vocally at Jared stopping.

"Jensen, Mark."

Jensen looks up at him with slightly glassy questioning eyes. "What?" He licks his swollen lips and Jared curses their current location before taking a deep breath and trying again "Mark, our realtor, the one waiting for our answer and who might walk in here any minute." It takes a second or two but suddenly it clicks and Jensen seems to be able to take in their current situation.

"Right, Mark." Jared feels a bit like crying when Jensen unwraps his legs from his waist and regretfully lets him down. The only slight consolation being that Jensen doesn't immediately let go of his shoulders as he tries to steady his trembling legs.

After that things take a turn for the mundane. Sure, there's the slightly exciting moment when Jared tells Mark they're definitely getting the house and instead of a handshake Jared's treated to a full frontal kiss to seal the deal (yeah, definitely the King of Hell). Luckily Jensen's still in full house-porn mode and off somewhere in the garden out of sight, but then, right now Jared's not so sure he would even mind seeing as Mark is his new house-god. It's really just for fun and in Jared's opinion a much better way to seal a deal then a boring handshake. They make an appointment for the next week to look over the papers, Jensen who's now joined them again makes a sound of disapproval, probably ready to sign right then and there but Jared is a lawyer after all so he's not just going to buy a house and sign a bunch of papers without getting everything checked out properly. Mark just pets Jensen's shoulder and assures him that the house is theirs, it's all just a matter of boring formality that’s going to take a while, which seems to calm him down. Jared really needs to start taking notes on this guy and his approach to Jensen handling.     

The ride back is mostly quiet, Jared wants nothing more than to take the short road straight back home, but that would probably be just a little bit presumptuous and considering their progress he doesn’t want to do anything to ruin all of Mark’s hard work. So, when he drives up to the curb at Jensen’s temporary living arrangements, it’s with regret but also hope that it won't be for much longer.

Jensen doesn’t get out right away, which Jared considers as a big win in his favor. Jensen’s quiet for a while before saying: "Look, Jared, I meant what I said before, the house is wonderful but, it doesn’t fix everything. I’d be lying if I said I can’t picture myself in that house with you or that it’s not something I’m longing for but you still need to figure things out and if it turns out that those things aren’t my kind of thing then that house is not going to help. I don‘t know, I guess what I‘m trying to say is that, if you think reading my old scrapbooks and then doing whatever they say is the answer, then just no, it‘s not, I‘ll know if you‘re only doing it for me.”

The speech isn’t unexpected, Jared’s already been able to tell it was coming from Jensen’s body language. He doesn’t have a thought out answer but, this is Jensen, he knows, or should know how to talk to him. So, he decides to just wing it.

“I know that Jensen, and I know I haven’t been very up-to speed recently and I’ve been kind of an ass about some stuff, but you’ve been thinking about things like this for a long time. I’ve been Mr. One Track Guy, and I’m figuring out right now that there is a life after making partner. But there’s one thing I’ve figured out so far in this mess, and that’s that I’ll do whatever it takes to have you in my life. So I’m going to read your scrapbooks and I’m going to think about what I want out of life, but we are not broken-up and we are moving into that house together so you might as well start planning and organizing and all that other magic stuff you do.”

“Jared . . . ”

“I mean it Jensen, start planning or I’m going to start buying furniture without you and you know that won’t end well.”  It’s blackmail again, Jared knows it, but this is his future with Jensen he’s fighting for, he has no mercy. Jensen looks just as appalled and slightly frightened as Jared knew he would at the thinly veiled threat before answering:

“There is no need to be obscene Jared, I get your point, I just hope you get mine.”

“I do, so I get you, you get me, now what? I mean, I’m all for following you upstairs and finishing what we started back in our soon to be house, but judging by the look on your face right now that’s not going to happen so, instead I’m going to say, have dinner with me tomorrow?”

“No.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Martha Says:**

_"I‘m used to all kinds of hard work, as you well know, I‘m not afraid whatsoever."_

Jensen’s brutal shut down is a disappointment that Jared, just can’t let go. It puts him in a foul mood that get’s worse with each passing day. A week later, everyone at the office actually changes direction when they see him coming. It’s all so damn frustrating, one-step forward, one hundred steps back, and Jared just can’t figure out what he has to do to just keep going forward.

He’s in the middle of slamming some very thick legal books really hard on his desk, and then doing it again just to emphasize how foul his mood is, when he feels the change.

It’s like someone opening a window in a room that’s been closed off for years. A cool breeze in the middle of a heat wave, or like coming in from the cold and standing in front of a lit fireplace. The thick blanket of mumbling voices is silenced and frowning faces are suddenly filled with an expression of awe and careful hopefulness, all heads are turned in one direction and when Jared follows he sees him, standing on the office doorstep is Jensen.

Jared thinks he can hear someone whisper Jensen’s name with awe in his voice. That almost nonexistent sound is enough to make the doors to Chad’s, Chris and Jeff’s office slam open revealing the three of them standing in their respective doorways.

Up until now it’s been almost completely quiet but Jeff breaks it with a voice filled with childish eagerness “Cookies!”  It’s only now that Jared notices that Jensen hasn’t come empty handed, in fact, he’s carrying two large baskets, one filled to the brim with Jensen’s unbelievable cookies, wrapped artfully in transparent cellophane and topped off with an expertly tied bow in a blue satin ribbon. The other is the classic picnic variety with covered top so Jared can’t see what’s in it.

The office is completely quiet, everyone’s eyes are flicking back and forth between Jensen and the basket he’s holding, Jared’s not at all comfortable with the fact that it looks like they want to eat Jensen more than the cookies.

When the intense silence continues Jensen starts to look a little bit uncomfortable and suddenly it occurs to Jared that he’s probably here for a reason.

“Jensen, Hi!”

Jensen squirms a bit under the intense gaze from the entire office, “So, um, I thought I’d see if you were free for lunch.” Jensen wiggles the mystery basket and in an instant Jared starts salivating like Pavlov’s dog.

“Of course, yeah, I mean where do you want to go?

“Your office?”

It’s the best answer he could get, Jared leans forward to help Jensen carry the baskets but in that very moment an inhuman growl can be heard from somewhere in the room, (Jared suspects Jeff). They both look away from each other to the rest of the room and even though later in life when Jared retells the events that unfold after Jeff’s exclamation people will smile and say things like “yeah, sure, _that’s_ how it happened” but honest to god this is _exactly_ what happens.

The atmosphere in the room is electric and the sanity of the people in it hanging on by a thread. Jared takes a firm hold of one of Jensen’s upper arms and in a calm even tone says: “Jensen, put the cookies down and step away from the basket.”

Giving Jared and then the rest of the room a quick glance, Jensen slowly puts the basket down on the reception desk and is then quickly pulled away to safety by Jared. By the time they reach Jared’s office and close the door behind them, the carefully wrapped cellophane is no more and a blue ribbon can be seen hanging from one of the ceiling lamps as the sound of growling and animalistic munching can be heard bouncing off the walls.

Once in the office with the door securely locked, Jared suddenly becomes acutely aware just how much of a hopeless slob he is and does his best to push week old coffee cups and take-out cartons from view. Jensen of course isn’t fooled and looks in distaste at the state of Jared’s office. He sighs quietly and shakes his head before taking off his tweed blazer, carefully folding up the sleeves of his shirt and then proceeding to do something Jared can’t seem to fathom for about fifteen minutes. Then, suddenly, Jared has a desk which is clean, the take-out cartoons have magically disappeared and everything is just shiny and perfect.

Jensen doesn’t at all look as please as Jared feels and sighs before saying “That’s the best I can do for now, honestly Jared. And when did you start eating take-out, you hate take-out?”

“Since I can’t cook and the food at the café where everyone else eats is even worse than bad take-out.”

Jared can’t decide if the look on Jensen’s face is smugness or pity, probably both.

“Honestly Jared, you’re thirty years old, you should be able to feed yourself by now.”

“I can, just not as well as you do, you’ve ruined average food for me forever, Jensen.”

“I’ve spoiled you horribly haven’t I?”

It’s really more a statement then a question but Jared still answers.

“Yeah, I‘m so hungry Jensen.” Jared adds the kicked puppy face to his last statement and to his amazement Jensen actually smiles and starts to pull out one homemade delicacy after the other from his basket, judging by the amount of food coming out of it, Jared suspects that this particular basket might be related to Mary Poppins magic bag.  

Jensen on the other hand looks a little embarrassed as he presents the small feast he’s brought with him.

“It’s not much, but I don’t have all my equipment or my ingredients stash at the new apartment so, it’s the best I could do.

The best Jensen can do during unfavorable circumstances is:

 

    * 1 plate of; homemade mini baguettes, filled with Salami, Brie, and tomatoes



 

    * 1 large bowl (ceramic, Jensen detests plastic) of ; Caesar salad



 

    * 2 Chicken, Mushroom and goat cheese wraps



 

    * 2 Mini Bacon and Cheese Quiche



 

    * 1 large bowl of: Tropical fruit salad, with chopped mixed nuts and white chocolate shavings



 

    * 1 small basket of: Strawberry Muffins



 

    * 1 large bottle of Jensen’s homemade sweet lemonade



 

    * 1 thermos of Jensen’s special, super awesome coffee



 

    * 1 large cellophane bag of Jensen’s special cookies (red and white polka dot ribbon included)



 

Jared can feel actual tears of joy form in the corners of his eyes.

It’s the most relaxed they’ve been together in a long time, sitting together on either side of Jared’s desk eating Jensen’s food Jared realizes that even before this whole disaster started things had been uncomfortable. Now he can see that the tension that had become a constant occurrence in Jensen’s shoulders every time Jared talked about his job, which honestly was all the time, is gone. Jensen asks about how things have changed now that Jared’s partner, the cases he’s working on, Jared learns that Jensen’s working as a substitute teacher over at one of the schools.

“You don’t have to you know, if you don’t want to, for money I mean, we can live on my income even with separate living arrangements, and half of everything is yours anyway so, you don‘t have to.”

Jensen smiles a little, “I know, but as much as I hate to admit it, even though a lot of your plan was horribly misguided, you actually did have a small point. I’ve been waiting for you to finish this quest you’ve been on for all these years and just expected that when you finished, everything would just slot into place immediately. And in the process I let you forget about what I wanted and dreamed about and I did it to myself too. All of these things that I want, I can’t really be angry with you for not figuring it out when I’ve never said anything. I just, I’ve been so busy planning everything in my head that I forgot I’ve not included you. So, I have to do this, I have to see if I can make a life where all my plans with you won’t come true and still be ok.”  

Jared’s mouth suddenly feels dry and he forces himself to swallow his last bite before he begins to protest, but Jensen quickly interrupts him.

“I’m not saying that’s what I’m hoping for, of course my dream is that you read all those stupid scrapbooks and realize that you want exactly the same thing as I do. I just need a backup plan, in case you don’t.”

“I will.” Jared knows he will, with ever fiber of his being he knows he will.

Jensen who’s now busying himself with stacking all the empty plates neatly in the basket and wrapping up the leftovers and placing them on Jared’s desk, say’s “I hope so, but Jared, you can’t lie to me. I know you’re going to read them, I can’t stop you. But if there’s something that you don’t want you have to tell me, I need to know so I can decide if I can live without it and still be happy with you or if maybe we shouldn’t . . .”

Jared refuses to let him finish; “ I will! You’re right, just like I told you yesterday. I know I  haven’t been looking ahead, I haven’t been planning for a life after I made partner. Now I know that you’ve been a damn saint for putting up with my obsession. I’ve just been so focused and I forgot that there are other things that make up a life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it, I just haven’t thought about it. And anyway, you’re the most important thing in my life. Yes, maybe one of the things you dream about won’t be my biggest dream but that doesn’t matter because if it’s important to you then it will be important to me.

You don’t get to stand aside for twelve years so that I can achieve my goals and then not expect me to do the same thing for you. You and your dreams are just as important Jensen, just as valid. I forgot that once, I won’t do it again. So, if you need to do this, live apart from me and work right now, do that, if it’s what you want and need. But I’m going to find out what you want, and then I’m going to find a way to make that happen.”

Jared’s on a roll, the lawyer in him is just getting started, Jensen starts to say something but Jared stops him by walking over to the chair Jensen’s vacated and dropping down in it and in the process sneaking an arm around Jensen’s waist and dragging him down too, causing him to land rather snugly in Jared’s lap.  Jensen is caught slightly off guard by the move but quickly recovers and makes to get up from Jared’s lap. But Jared holds on and begins his closing argument; “Look, we can talk round and round about this. But I really think the both of us have said what we needed to several times now. We understand each other's positions. So, enough. Now we start doing all these things we’re talking about. So, tell me about your decorating plans.”

Jensen scowls a bit and starts to protest but before he can get a single word out Jared stops him.

“Don’t even try and deny it Jensen. You love this stuff and there is no way you can convince me that you haven’t already started planning and making charts and all, so stop playing hard to get and tell me.”

Jared looks Jensen square in the eye during those last lines, daring Jensen to deny what they both know to be true. After a few heartbeats Jensen finally sighs and gives in, he leans forward to the basket and pulls out Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook. It’s edges filled with post-it tabs all carefully labeled in Jensen’s neat handwriting with things like “Moving checklist” and “Planning your garden” leafing through the marked passages where  Jared can see that Jensen's made extensive notes on large notepad papers that’s been paper clipped to various pages.  

There are indeed charts. Themes plotted out for various rooms, organizational charts for the kitchen cupboards, hand drawn sketches of the existing garden with notes such as;

 

Pond

* Find certified Aquascape contractor

* Ecosystem pond seems to be the most maintenance free

* Water lilies possible in this climate?

* Koi fish?

 

It’s adorable, slightly OCD, but completely adorable.  Jared can’t help himself as he takes hold of the back of Jensen’s neck and kisses him. Jensen makes a half surprised noise in the back of his throat that quickly transforms into a deep moan. That’s all it takes for Jared to lose his composure and things to go from the beginning of a perfectly innocent lunchtime make-out session to outright office porn.

Jensen’s home keeping bible makes a dull thud as it drops to the floor when Jensen moves to straddle Jared in the chair. In a matter of moments Jensen’s so carefully put together look is soon replaced by a debauched one as his perfectly ironed navy shirt is pulled out of the matching navy slacks and is roughly pulled over his head, landing on top of the home keeping bible on the floor. His undershirt soon follows as Jared makes the most of finally having the soft naked skin of Jensen’s upper body in close proximity again.   

Somewhere in the back of his head Jared briefly considers that maybe this is not the time nor the place for this. At that precise moment, Jensen manages the Herculean feat of grinding down in the most perfect way while simultaneously roughly dragging Jareds shirt off him, this while also producing the most filthy moan Jared’s ever heard come out between those delicious lips. Jared promptly ignores any thoughts of propriety and instead with Jensen in a tight grip maneuvers them both from the chair and places Jensen flat on his back on Jared’s now mostly uncluttered desk.

As their remaining clothing join their shirts on the floor Jared is thankful for four things;

1\. That he’s a damn boy scout and is always prepared;

2\. That his offices, including the glass in the windows are soundproof;

3\. That the firm made sure to invest in really good blinds for all the windows;

4\. That Jensen’s sense of etiquette, proper behavior and overall decency, is completely ignored in the bedroom.

Soon pencils, paperclips and post-it notes join their clothes on the floor as the desk squeaks in protest of its rough treatment. Jared’s shoulder stings from Jensen biting down to keep himself from crying out - soundproof only gets you so far after all.

When they finally slump down into a panting, slightly dazed pile of limbs on the floor Jared starts to wonder how an improvised lunch date in his office, turned into one of the most pornographic moments in their relationship. He  decides that it just involves going down a road of way too much thinking for his current state of mind and settles for mentally high-fiving himself instead.

Slowly coming down from their high, it finally seems to hit Jensen what has just happened and Jared just has to kiss him again as he slowly turns the most adorable shade of pink. Sadly that’s the last one Jared gets as Jensen gets up from the floor and then quickly works his wardrobe magic. As Jensen unlocks the door and opens it Jared says:

“I’ll call you tonight?”

Jensen looks completely composed. A few creases in his shirt and a rosy color on his cheeks are the only things giving him away. He gives Jared a nod and a small smile as he tries to make his way to the exit with as little notice  as possible. Which of course fails horribly, since it’s Jensen and apparently everything at “Morgan Kane Murray & Padalecki” stops when Jensen is present.

To everyone’s credit they all behave perfectly until the moment the doors close behind Jensen, in which they all opened their mouths to start talking simultaneously.

Jared precedes them all:  “Yeah, that’s right, he’s MINE, suck it Bitches!”

It might not be the most composed or mature moment in his life, but given the fact that everyone in the office is probably in some way plotting to steal Jensen from him, Jared figures he’s entitled.


	6. Chapter 6

**Martha Says:**

_“There’s a right way to pack and there is the way you pack.”_

 

[Bon Voyage!](http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/travel/vintage-travel-9585246?vk=SiL8sMbBle)

 

It never ends, every time Jared opens up one of Jensen's scrapbooks he's confronted with another part of life he's just ignored. It's like getting bitch slapped and having an epiphany all at once. On the one hand, Jared hates himself just a little more every time he's confronted with Jensen's lust for a life together and certainty that Jared would eventually give him the world. On the other hand, it's like he's getting a second chance to explore life and all it has to offer.

It's a little frightening that he could just put all those other dreams and desires so far back in his mind that he pretty much forgot all about them for so long. But now they're right in front of him. Every new scrapbook is a reminder that not all that long ago Jared wanted other things than just making partner.

It's all very enlightening not only about Jensen but about Jared himself. He might not be completely certain where they're going but one thing he does know is that he won't waste this new opportunity to live a truly full life.

Jensen deserves everything and more, Jared might have needed a little help figuring things out but by God he can take a hint!

 

It's about a two hour drive from Portsmouth to Portland International Airport, then a domestic flight to Philadelphia, where they finally board their British Airways flight to London Heathrow.

It's times like this when Jared really loves the perks that come with his job. Perks like handling the divorce of an airline executive which means that the second Jensen sets foot at the airport and Jared waves their (extremely discounted) First Class tickets, Jensen's treated as royalty.   

Warm towels, champagne, a private suite on board the airplane, the doting and sucking-up never stops, after making sure that;

1\. Jared hasn't blown the down payment on their house on a plane ticket;

2\. This really isn't a mistake, surely it must be!? No? Really?

Jensen settles in like he belongs there. Jared kind of thinks he does. He mentally kicks himself again for not seeing before that someone like Jensen should at all times be surrounded by beautiful things, so he can make them even more awesome and beautiful.

When they finally land at Heathrow airport, Jared is so grateful for the private suite and the honest to god real bed they had on the plane. After a 20 hour journey and an 8 hour time difference they would have been completely destroyed if they hadn't had such a great nap on the flight.

Jared did suggest them joining the mile high club, Jensen wasn't as enthusiastic as he'd hoped, but considering the seriously steamy office porn they made just a week ago, Jared's not complaining too much.

Jensen wants to take the Heathrow express from the airport but Jared insists on a classic black cab, Jensen's been waiting for this for a long time and Jared will be damned if Jensen doesn't get the complete package.

Jared managed, actually Misha the travel agent managed, to get them a great last minute deal at one of the four star hotels in Mayfair within walking distance from Oxford street and Hyde park. Jared kind of wishes that he could have taken Jensen to London in spring or summer, instead of the middle of October, when things are gray and rainy. But, Jensen's been living away from Jared since the beginning of August, Jared needs this to end. Now.

A valet opens the taxi door as they pull up to the hotel, a short while later they finally open the door to the hotel room. Jared's never been impressed with the "finer things". Looking at himself now, he realizes that's probably because he's always had them, always been accustomed to them. As has been made perfectly clear to him during the past two months he's not really paid notice to how things have been around him. He realizes now that even when everything was lost, even though they've had periods in life where they truly had to count every penny, Jared's never doubted that that quality of life was just around the corner - that he would have it all again, no doubt in his mind whatsoever.

Looking at Jensen now as he walks around the opulent room, carefully touching the fine furniture fabrics, the cashmere blankets, letting his fingers slide over the polished wood furniture and inspecting the complicatedly hung drapes, Jared's pulled back to the day he took Jensen home. Home to the big white house on the hill, with the marble floors in the foyer, the grand staircase and the old family portraits covering the walls.

For Jared it was nothing, just home. But Jensen, he'd looked so uncomfortable, almost apologetic, like he truly believed he didn't belong. Thing is, back then Jared thought Jensen was so grown-up, he knew everything about life and coping on your own, Jared didn't have the first clue about any of it. When everything came crashing down, Jensen's the one who got them through it.

Now Jared can see Jensen never really had a choice, he knew where the laundromat was and how it worked because no one ever washed his clothes for him. Knew how to cook so he could eat, knew how to look for an apartment because he had already been living on his own.

Jensen never lived in a big white house on a hill, Jared's family might have imploded but for the first nineteen years of his life he had the best parents anyone could ever wish for, Jensen didn't. Jensen's the strong one, the one who got them this far and he hasn't asked for anything back. Jared thinks right then and there that he was right all along, that it really is time for Jensen to get something for himself. The thing he got wrong though is that it's not Jensen who needs to do something for himself, it's Jared who has to do it for Jensen.

So far it's still all been about Jared, Jared wanting Jensen back and figuring out ways for that to happen. Now suddenly, in this tiny insignificant moment he sees it all so clearly. Jensen will never ask, never demand, never expect anything grand. He'll never assume that better things are right around the corner, take them for granted and just presume that he's entitled. Jensen doesn't see life like that, he'll take what he can get and will try to make it as good and as beautiful as he can.

Jensen makes everything he touches, Jared included, so much better but he doesn’t know how to expect something back for himself in return. So it’s up to Jared to make sure that some of that magic that Jensen spreads around actually comes back to Jensen.

“I love it,” Jensen’s smile makes Jared’s insides tingle “I mean you’re stark raving mad planning a trip to Europe with one day’s notice, most people actually take time to think things through before they do something, but you, it’s like people who don’t have that filter between what they think and what comes out of their mouths.  For you it’s between the first thought that pops into your head and then taking action, so completely insane, but I love it.”

Jared should have a witty comeback, maybe an enthusiastic speech about spontaneity and so on and so forth but he’s ascended into some kind of Jensen zone, where everything around him has faded out of his field of vision and everything is Jensen. Those big doe-like eyes in a shade of green that’s so unique and sparkle so invitingly when he’s happy, just like they are now. The straight nose leading down to the soft cupids bow and lips that seriously were just made for kissing. Jensen was pretty when they met but now he’s all grown up and so damn beautiful, beautiful from the inside out.  Yeah, of course the whole damn world would go gay for him, of course they would, but they can’t have him.

Jensen’s standing by one of the large french windows, Jared walks right up to him, one hand comes up to cup the back of his head and the other takes a firm grip around a narrow, muscular waist and then Jared kisses him. It’s the kind of kiss that melts kneecaps and turn legs into jell-o, the kind that goes on and on and were the one who's on the receiving end just kind of melts. Jensen melts, he turns to pudding right there in Jared's arms and Jared just keeps kissing him.

Then Jensen's back is against the wall and Jared finally breaks the kiss. The hand that’s been cradling Jensen’s head comes down to cup his face, the thumb tracing one high cheekbone before traveling down to grace a swollen mouth.

“I’m going to give you the world.”

Maybe it’s the serious tone of his voice or the intense way Jared’s eyes are meeting his own, but Jensen’s reply dies on his tongue and then Jared’s kissing him again. Jensen’s back is flat against the wall, Jared’s body pressed so tightly against his that it’s making it hard for the both of them to breathe. For a split second Jared thinks maybe he should break the kiss and actually take Jensen out, but that plan goes straight to hell when Jensen lets a breathy moan slip past his lips, and Jared is lost.

The opulent king size bed is just a few steps away and still they don’t make it. Feeling the rough fibers of the rug scrape against his naked back as Jensen rides him hard and fast, Jared manages to form one single coherent thought and reflect on the fact that their separation seems to have turned their sex-life away from the satisfying but kind of bland path they’ve been on and straight down porn-fest highway. Jared is not complaining. It’s like they’ve been starved of each other and they hadn’t even noticed and now they’re doing their best to devour one another.

After, when Jared is trying his best to get his breathing under control and the sweat cooling on his body is starting to make him shiver, he starts to say something just to fill the air with words because suddenly it all feels too much, too strong. But when he looks over at Jensen he’s just lying there, his whole body trembling from the intensity of his orgasm, the words get stuck in his throat and all he can do is defy his aching muscles as they protest against him moving and pull Jensen over, blanketing his own body with Jensen's.

With Jensen's naked trembling body covering his own, Jensen's face snuggled into the groove of his neck, Jared feels a wave of peace wash over him. Not a post sex basking in glory peace. It's like his whole being took a deep breath, exhaled and decided to just calm the fuck down and stop.

“I’m done Jensen.” Jared can feel Jensen's trembling body go completely still and tense up as Jared starts talking, as though he’s dreading what Jared’s about to say next, there’s no need. Jared’s voice is calm, but still strong and sincere, “I’m done proving things to myself, done chasing crazy goals and seeing my life in tunnel vision.” One of Jared’s hands comes up and tangles its fingers is Jensen's sweat damp hair. “I’m done Jensen, from now on, nothing is more important than you and our life together.”

Jensen says nothing, but tilts his head so his lips ghost over the sensitive skin on Jared’s neck and one hand settles over Jared’s beating heart. The hand in Jensen's hair tightens its grip and Jared’s other hand travels down over the freckled skin of Jensen's back feeling the strong muscles just under the skin's surface twitch and jump as Jared’s hand passes over them, finally reaching its destination and taking  hold of a firm globe. It’s enough to make them tumble over the edge all over again.

As Jensen's exhausted body fights to find something to help it stay in position but failing and just collapsing he lets Jared roughly push and pull him over the carpet. Jared thinks about the rug burns that’ll cover Jensen's knees and the finger shaped bruises that’ll most definitely be covering his hips tomorrow. The thought makes his fingers grip a bit tighter, his body push just a little bit harder.

 

Stepping off the classic red double-decker bus at Notting Hill gate Jared has no idea what horrors are about to unfold and just how much his new found devotion to Jensen's happiness is going to cost him, figuratively and _literally_. As they walk down the street Jared’s in a particularly good mood. The sun is shining, the historic houses painted in whimsical pastel colors lining the street make him feel like they’re wrapped in a big rainbow flag. Every time Jared looks over at Jensen he notices again, and again, that he’s just a little more bowlegged than usual, which instantly brings forth mental pictures of the day before and how they didn’t make it out of the hotel room. They did however, eventually make it to the bed.   

It’s not until they round the last corner and step on to Portobello Road that understanding starts to dawn on Jared. Portobello Road is a very, very long street, filled with a lot, a lot,  of market stands, and behind the stands on both sides of the street they’re shops, a lot of small shops, on both side of the street, it’s also very, very crowded. It starts even before they make it to the first stand, first there’s the shop with all the antique, handmade tiles and ceramic knobs in all shapes and sizes, then there’s the shop with the Wedgwood and Royal Albert tea sets.

Then there’s the market stands, at least a hundred and everywhere tourists from all over the world are pushing and shoving and generally just getting in his way. Jared feels like a giant, a clumsy, out of his element giant. He kind of wants to scream, take hold of Jensen, throw him over his shoulder and just get the hell out of there. Jensen though, Jensen is so in the zone. Jared might be a clumsy giant who just gets in people's way but Jensen is gorgeous and anywhere he wants to go the crowd just parts and lets him through.

Seeing Jensen discuss the age and haggle over the price for a set of antique silver toast racks his whole face glowing with happiness and excitement, Jared decides that whatever discomfort, horrors and general hell he might be experiencing he’d rather bite off his own tongue then let Jensen know that’s how he feels.

Jared learns to stay behind Jensen, nod in what he thinks is an interested and appreciative manner whenever Jensen shows him something he thinks they need, like three different silver tea strainers. Jared does, in what he hopes is a gentle and judgment free way, question why they need three antique silver tea strainers. Jensen shares a look with the lady managing that particular stand, before explaining that the first is Victorian, the second is art nouveau and the third is art deco, which makes them _completely_ different. So _obviously_ they need all three, Jared just nods and opens his wallet.

The street just goes on and on and on, for a moment Jared thinks he might be close to freedom when the street curves, but when they reach the middle of the bend Jared sees that they’re only half way, he has a slight mental breakdown, but then Jensen laughs at something one of the vendors says as they haggle over the price of an art deco shaving set with pearl handles and Jared pulls himself together.

Eventually, after several torturous hours it turns out that even hell has an end, the street still goes on but the further down they get the contents of the stalls goes from antiques to vintage to plain second hand to just plastic crap.  When they’ve passed five stalls with nothing but poorly made novelty knickknacks Jensen finally loses interests and Jared can breathe a sigh of relief.

A wonderful smell from a hole in the wall restaurant called The Falafel King reminds them that it’s way past lunchtime. The restaurant serves homemade falafel and lemonade and mint tea, and that’s it. It’s the best damn falafel Jared’s ever had, ever, Jensen must agree because soon he’s charming the owner out of his secret recipe.

When they’ve finished Jared takes a deep breath and steels himself for another few hours of torture as he sees the roof covered square filled with hundreds of small market stalls filled with clothes. But Jensen surprises him by taking his arm, Jared’s hands are after all busy carrying all the bags, and leading him onto a side street and black cab conveniently standing there.

Despite the traffic it doesn’t take them long to reach the hotel, Ten seconds after Jensen closes the hotel room door behind them Jared learns why following Jensen around a crowded street for several hours is such an awesome thing to do. Jared barely has time to place all the shopping bags on the chair by the door before he’s got two arms full of a very horny Jensen doing his best to climb up his body while trying to reach Jared’s tonsils with his tongue.

Taking a much needed breath Jensen manages to pant out, “Thank you . . . putting up with . . know you hate . . . so nice . . . love you.”

While manhandling Jensen onto the dresser standing on the other side of the door, somehow managing to rid Jensen of his pants and underwear and pushing his own down as far as necessary Jared manages to answer; “Anything you want, I’ll do anything . . . pretty . . . so pretty . . .”

Sliding in to Jensen, Jared does a quick summery of this day’s lessons before his higher brain function shuts down, it is as follows;

1\. Shopping for antiques makes Jensen very horny;

2\. Indulging Jensen as he shops for antiques, makes Jared’s penis very happy;

3\. Antique mahogany dressers are very sturdy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Falafel King is a real restaurant on Portobello road, if you ever find yourself there, I highly recommend staying for a falafel, mint lemonade and finishing of with the mint tea. It’s a must everytime I go to London.


	7. Chapter 7

**Martha says:**

_"I love dessert. I can't be guilty about it because I have to taste everything."_

 

"Why the hell do you have to wear a suit to drink tea?" Jared tugs at the hem of his suit jacket. His seventeen-hundred dollar perfectly tailored gray herringbone flannel suit.

They're on their fourth day in London. Yesterday Jared took Jensen to Savile Row. Jared can't quite remember how he ever thought bringing Jensen to one of the holy pilgrim sites of classically fashionable men around the world was ever a good idea.

He suspects something might have slipped out when he had Jensen on top of that dresser, Jensen might have said (panted) something about just wanting to see the street were the most beautiful suits in the world are born and Jared promising to take him there.

So, he did.

Not that he's complaining too much, in the end it was worth it. See, when looking into buying the house and planning this trip, Jared's come to a startling conclusion. They have a shitload of money. They're not rich, like _rich_ , but Jared's been making a really decent amount of money since he graduated. Two years into his employment he started making a really decent five figure salary, like a five figure salary starting with more than a one. Add to that five years worth of terrific bonuses, the bonus and even higher salary he got when he made partner, and this year's cut of the profit Jared's looking on a good five-hundred-thousand income this year.

And since they haven't really upgraded their lifestyle except for better food and little things like that, they have a pretty awesome savings account. Even with the down payment on the house, this trip, and putting away a really good chunk in their savings and retirement funds, they still have a really comfortable sum in their spending account.

Being a partner in a successful New England law-firm, with a very wealthy client list, is really awesome, like, _really awesome_.

So, when they exited the black cab and Jensen's feet made contact with Savile Row Jared had a pretty terrific ace up his sleeve. Watching Jensen slowly walk alongside the century old buildings looking in shop windows and storefronts belonging to tailors and brands as iconic and old as the buildings themselves. Jared kept biding his time until Jensen stayed just a little longer in front of a particular store window and Jared knew this was it. Before Jensen could protest Jared took hold of Jensen's elbow and gently guided him into the store.

See, Jared understands now that Jensen would never have even dreamed about entering the store, Jensen knows full well how favorable their economic situation is, and it isn't a question about Jensen not thinking that he's got any less right to the money. It's just that a big part of Jensen is still that disadvantaged trailer-park kid who's afraid to reach too high. Jared however has no problem believing Jensen belongs in a store like this or that he should be wearing tailor-made suits.

For the first ten minutes or so Jensen sported a very fetching deer caught in headlight look as the distinguished looking gentleman greeting them introduced himself as Mr. Giles and asked how he could be of service.

Jared took charge, introduced them both and quickly handed Mr. Giles his American Express and a note with a whole lot of numbers on it and said they wouldn't be leaving until all those numbers could be transferred to this fine establishment, under the condition that Jensen would not be shown the particular numbers on the paper. In fact, numbers were a topic of conversation Jared would like to avoid all together. Jensen let out some weak protest as Mr. Giles very discreetly made sure the card could handle the numbers on the paper before calling for his assistant Mr. Wyndham-Pryce and offering them some refreshments.

After that Jensen seemed to have come to terms with how the day would be playing out, and a few moments later Jared was sitting very comfortably in a large sofa, sipping a really decent whiskey and flipping through a copy of "[The Gentleman's journal](http://www.thegentlemansjournal.com/)"

Jensen in turn, holding a delicate cup of perfect tea, had the rapt attention of the two gentlemen and was passionately discussing cuts, fabrics, colors and stuff like that, honestly as soon as Jensen started to look comfortable Jared kind of zoned out.   

All in all the first few hours were comfortable, Jared stayed in his zone, occasionally surfacing to reality every time Jensen came out of the changing-room, then things took a turn towards the not so comfortable. Suddenly Jensen turned his attention to Jared and the peace was officially over.

"It's not _just tea_ Jared, we're not getting a cup to-go at Starbucks, it's Afternoon tea at the Ritz. It's a social institution, in a historic and iconic location, they have a dress-code, _Alan Rickman_ has tea at the Ritz."

Jared's not really putting all he's got into his arguments, he's a little busy watching Jensen put the finishing touches to his three-piece suit, that Jared dared call gray at the store and was swiftly informed by all three men simultaneously that it was in fact a black and white hound's-tooth check pattern, not _gray_.

He looks like a million dollars, actually with accessories Jensen looks like one-thousand-eight-hundred and sixty-five dollars, and it's worth every single cent. For a split second Jared entertains the thought of trying to talk Jensen out of tea and into bed, but looking at Jensen's excited face, all dressed up in the finest tailoring London has to offer, Jared can't bring himself to even try.

Afternoon tea at the London Ritz takes place at The Palm Court, a room described as an elegant saloon of fanciful design, to Jared it looks like kitsch had a baby with tacky.

There's gold statues in every corner, to match the golden domed roof, there's lace and frill, mirrored walls and potted palm trees, chandeliers and everything is just too much. Jensen loves it, which kind of is a surprise, Jared always thought of Jensen as someone with impeccable and subtle taste, he's not usually one for frills and over the top gold cherubs on the walls. But obviously he thinks it's special so as their waiter takes them to their table Jared decides to play along.

"So, this is nice it's all very ehm, fancy, the cherubs are very. . .  shiny.”

Jensen gives him a look then smiles; "Jared, this place is hideous, this is where kitsch goes to die so it can rest in peace forever with its own kind."

"That's what I was thinking!" Jared realizes he might have been a bit loud, he's just so excited that he and Jensen actually thought the same thing. Still he quickly looks around to make sure no one is giving them the evil eye, but no one seems to have paid them any attention. "So, why did you want to come here?"

"Because it's a thing, it's iconic, it's history and bad taste aside they're supposed to have spectacular afternoon tea. It's the whole experience."

A while later Jared has to agree that it really is an experience, their waiter gives excellent service. The tea, a Darjeeling that apparently, according to their waiter and Jensen, is special,  is nice. The china is exquisite, the room though horrid still lends something to the experience that really emphasizes the point that they really aren't at Starbucks. There's an honest to god grand piano with pianist included filling the room with soft background music. Then there's the pastries, of course there's scones and finger sandwiches first but really, those are just something you eat so you can stuff yourself with sugar after without feeling too guilty.

There's éclairs, lemon and chocolate tarts, strawberries dipped in chocolate. There's cream puffs, profiteroles, raspberry napoleons, cream horns and to finish it all off macaroons in three different flavors.

Jared's in sugar heaven, Jensen seems to be enjoying himself as well but Jared isn't sure if it's the afternoon tea or seeing Jared stuffing his face that gives him the most enjoyment.

"This is so good," Jared waves the green pistachio macaroon he's holding over the carnage of demolished pastries that is his dessert plate, "what are the odds of me convincing you to learn how to make this when we get back home."

Jensen arches a perfectly groomed eyebrow "What makes you think I don't already know how to make pastries?"

Jared puts the half-eaten macaroon he's holding down on the plate, carefully swallows the half that's already in his mouth before saying with all the composure he's able to muster in this monumental, life changing moment, "Jensen, are you telling me you know how to make these? Why have there been no pastries in our home? Why Jensen? Why?"

Jensen, using the dessert fork as should be done, takes another pieces of lemon tart before answering, "I have, I took a course three summers ago, I made so many pastries, I even made a whole big basket of macaroons in I think, twenty different flavors and put them on the counter for you to take to work, but all you took were the cookies so I just figured it wasn't your thing."

And Jared's back to feeling like the biggest ass on the planet, "I don't remember a basket, how can I not remember a basket of macaroons?"

"You were in the middle of the Richardson divorce, you had a lot on your mind."

Jared remembers that case, it's one of the few times his job has made him almost give up on humanity. How two so disagreeable, greedy, truly horrific people ever even managed to find someone to marry so they could later decide to get a divorce is beyond his understanding, it was the longest five months of his life, still;

"Don't do that Jensen, don't make excuses for me being an ass, I should have noticed."

"Jared it's . . ."

"Jensen, I should have noticed."

Jensen lowers his eyes to the teacup he's holding, takes a sip before meeting Jared's eyes again, "Yes, you should have noticed, and I should have said something when you didn't. Jared let's not make this bigger than it is. Apart from these past few months, yes, our life has been mostly at a standstill because of our focus on your career, but we've not had a bad life, we've not been unhappy together. Yes, I've been waiting for a lot of things to happen, that either our finances or our commitment to your work have made it pretty much impossible for us to do up until now. And yes, for a while you got lost in it all, and I let you, but let's not have that define our entire twelve-year relationship."

"So, what now then? Are we ok, when we leave London, are you moving back in?"

"No," Jared would bite his tongue to stop himself from crying out in frustration, if his mouth wasn't so full of chocolate éclair, "I'm not moving back in, I'm moving to my dream house. It would, however, be nice if you did the same." Jared, mouth now empty, let's out a sigh of relief and gives Jensen a look that says he's going to pay for that little dramatic effect when they get back to the hotel."

The remaining days in London pass in a blissful and at times pornographic blur of experiences; markets, west-end musicals, museums, botanical gardens and shopping. All in all it's a fantastic time, and Jared vows that whatever happens at work Jensen deserves at least two international vacations a year.

The only slightly unpleasant moment, for Jared, is when they decide to do the "gay scene", which usually they're horrible at, and go bar hopping in SoHo. Twenty minutes into their visit to the first bar, Jensen's been given ten phone numbers, propositioned eleven times, twelve if you count the bartender, and that's by men brave enough to try even with Jared standing _right there_.

Later, when Jared's a little intoxicated and kind of ranting about people having no respect for the institution of monogamy, Jensen said that Jared was hit on and leered at just as much as he was and Jared answered "Really, who? I didn't notice anyone." Jensen, gave him the most dazzling smile and Jared figured all in all, it was a good vacation.


	8. Chapter 8

**Martha says:**

_"Without an open-minded mind, you can never be a great success."_

 

When Jared turns on his phone the moment they leave the airplane in Portland, he has a text message from Mark saying that everything is ready and all they have to do is swing by his office and sign the papers and the house will be theirs.

Jared is tired after the long journey and just want to go home, they can sign the papers tomorrow, Jensen won't hear it, he wants' to go immediately, so they do.

It's a quick process, a few scribbled signatures on a lot of pages and that's that, they're homeowners. Jared's actually a bit disappointed. He thought it'd feel more special, like he'd suddenly feel all grown up, he doesn’t. But Jensen, Jensen is beaming, and is so happy he doesn't even blink when they're both treated to a full frontal kiss each to seal the deal.

Yeah, definitely The King of Hell.

The entire drive home, Jensen holds the house keys tightly in his hand, like he's afraid someone will try and take them from him. Jared isn’t worried, after all they’ve been through these past months he finally feels confident in their relationship and the fact that despite all the drama they’re now stronger than ever. It’ll take an earthquake to shake what they have.

Jared doesn't ask, he drives straight to their apartment, things are finally back as they should be and Jared will not have Jensen spending one more night at that other place. Jensen doesn't object.

There’s a red light blinking on their answering machine. Why they still have a landline and an honest to god answering machine connected to it is a complicated matter all stemming from Chad's rather unsettled and slightly paranoid view of the world. He's insistent that everyone who works at the firm needs to have a landline and an answering machine in case of emergency. What that emergency might be is yet to be explained but as it’s Chad everyone agrees that a landline and an answering machine each is a small price to pay to avoid having Chad's slightly unhealthy worldview explained to them.

So there’s a red light blinking on their answering machine, Jared gets excited, it’s all so retro! Jensen doesn’t share his enthusiasm and looks at the blinking red light like it’s the herald of disaster.

As usual Jensen, is right.

_“Jensen, it’s Gerald and Sherri, I know we agreed that you’d call us but, you usually call on Mondays and it’s been months since we heard from you and well honestly both me and Sherri are getting really worried that something bad has happened. I really hope us leaving this message hasn’t made things difficult for you with Jared but we’re just so worried, please call us as soon as you hear this. You know we love you, give Jared a kiss for us. Please call.”_

 

Cue earthquake!

 

Jared can’t move, every single cell in his body has frozen and he can’t move. Never, never in his life did he expect this. If there was one thing he was absolutely sure of it’s that  Gerald and Sherri Padalecki was a finished chapter in his, in their life. And if anyone, if only a single person in the whole world understood that, it would obviously be Jensen. Turns out he’s wrong, and it’s like being gutted with a serrated blade that rips his insides apart and pulls half of them out when the blade leaves his body.

“They called you a trailer trash fag”

“I know” Jensen’s voice sounds as raw as Jared’s feels, he’s pale, the color drained from his face making every single freckle stand out, it doesn‘t suit him.

“Said you were nothing but a glorified prostitute, out for the family money. ”

“I know.”

“Said what we were feeling and doing was dirty and wrong.”

“I know.”

“You know! That’s it, _you know_ , Jensen what the hell!”

Jensen exhales and moves a bit further into the apartment, sinking down on a chair.

“What do you want me to say Jared, this is a powder keg that just exploded no matter what I say.”

“I want you to say everything, how long you’ve been talking to them, why you’ve been talking to them and what the hell you’ve been thinking. You of all people know, you know how I feel about them. Why haven‘t you said anything? Jensen, Jesus!”

Jared can hear himself shouting, see Jensen flinch as the words crescendo higher and higher, when he stops shouting Jared sinks down on a chair opposite Jensen.

Jensen moistens his lips, nibbling his bottom lip before he starts talking.

“About two years ago your parents sent me an email. . . ”

“Two years! “ Jared snaps up from the chair again and starts pacing the room.

Jensen takes a deep breath before continuing, “. . .  they sent me a long email about everything that happened, what their life had been like after we cut contact, they wanted to get in touch with you, with us, apologize, try to make amends. I just, it seemed so sincere and they’ve worked so hard.”

“Jensen, don’t fucking tell me you felt sorry for them, after how they treated you, treated us, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Jensen, you can’t be that gullible!

“I’m not making excuses for how they behaved and I’m not saying what they did wasn’t horrible, but people can change and sometimes there are reasons. I’m not saying that excuses appalling actions but it can make it possible to make amends. They’re not the only ones who cut us out, you cut them off too Jared, do you realize that every time there’s an article in one of your law journals that talks about a case from somewhere in Texas you skip it, that you change the channel on the TV every time someone even says the name San Antonio?

Do you know that they were a signature away from divorce, that they’ve been in couples counseling and seeing a therapist separately for six years? Do you know that an hour before you “came out” your father had just finished a trail were a seventeen-year old boy had his head bashed in for being gay and the jury let the assailant off with the legal version of a slap on the wrist because he’d been “provoked”? That when your father came home and met us he still had the pictures of that same seventeen year old boys bloody corpse etched on his retinals? He’s human, he got really scared and he made a mistake, a horrible one that isn’t easily forgiven, but I don’t think it’s unforgivable.”

“Balls! Jensen!”

“People can change Jared, and they’ve worked really hard to do just that. I was going to tell you. I called them and we talked for a really long time, they wanted to get in touch with you but knew you would never talk to them. You’re your father's son Jared, you’re both stubborn as mules. I said that as things stood, there was no way you’d even contemplate talking to them, before you’d made partner. That it was a milestone you’d have to reach, something you had to prove to yourself before you’d be ready to think about talking to them. They understood and agreed to wait. Then a few weeks later you won the Lawson case and it was such a big deal I wanted them to know, to see how good you were doing so I sent them a few articles and then they called me and it just became a regular thing, I’m sorry Jared, it was not meant to deceive you. I just, there’s a way you could have your family back, that we could have a real family and I just I wanted it so bad for you. I was going to tell you as soon as you made partner, but then this thing with us happened and. . . ”        

Jensen goes quiet again. Jared sinks down on the chair again but stands up immediately, too much agitation in his body to sit down and starts to pace the room again.

“So that’s it, forgive and forget is it really that easy for you? Really!?”

“I forgave you, didn’t I.”

Jensen’s voice is quiet, almost like a whisper but Jared’s head whips around so fast he can feel something in his neck crack in protest.

“Low blow Jensen, it’s not the same, not even close. Would you be as forgiving of your own family?”

The steel curtain that always cloud Jensen’s eyes when ever his family is mentioned slides in place.

“Well, I never knew my father and my mother spent a lot more time and affection on the thirty or so different boyfriends she had while I lived at home than she ever did me, so I don’t think that’s going to be an issue we have to consider. But if you insist I can probably track her down if you really want to meet her, I got a pretty current address from a few months ago when she called me and needed money for bail for her latest catch. But it‘s really not the same Jared, not even close. Your parents did everything right for nineteen years and then they made one mistake, a really bad one. But not an unforgivable one seeing as they‘re trying really hard to make everything right again. My family made nothing but mistakes and most of them actually are unforgivable so don’t even, Jared. It is not the same.”  

Jared can’t argue with that, he knows he can’t.

“Fine, it’s not the same but it’s not your goddamn place to decide whether I forgive my parents or not, you don’t have that right.”

“I haven’t Jared, it’s still your choice to forgive them or not, but I’ve decided to forgive them for how they treated me. I can’t decide what their role in your life is going to be, they’re your parents and you decide that. For me, I decided to listen to what they had to say, to talk to them hear their side of it. They’re not making excuses or trying to belittle what they did, they know how horribly they’ve behaved, how wrong they were.”

“Yeah well I’m not that forgiving.”

“Well no, it’s really hard to forgive someone if you don’t actually talk to them and give them a chance to ask for forgiveness.”

The worst thing about Jensen is arguing with him, Jared is big and expressive his long arms and large hands constantly moving as he talks. He’s always loud whether he laughs or talks, argues or like now, screams. Jensen, he’s completely still, with his back straight and his hands folded neatly in his lap, the more angry or frustrated he gets the softer and calmer his voice becomes. It’s highly unsatisfying to argue with someone when the person you’re screaming at won’t scream back.

“You should have told me, you should have told me the minute they contacted you, it wasn’t your call to make if I was ready to talk to them or not, you should have talked to me about it.”

“When should I have done that, Jared? The last few years, you’ve been working eighty-hour weeks and when you’ve been home you’ve been either eating, sleeping or working from home. And this last year, Jared you’ve been so out of touch with this relationship you wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t there. When was I supposed to start this conversation? Did I want to tell you? Yes. Could I? No. Honestly Jared I really couldn‘t have because you‘ve not been able to make decisions regarding anything else then your job and your obsession to prove something to your father. I might have been the one who took up contact with them again, but they‘ve been in this relationship all along.”

Jared closes his eyes, inhales, holding his breath until he feels like his lungs are about to explode.

“You know how much he hurt me Jensen, how deeply he disappointed me.”

“I know, but you’re not a nineteen-year old boy anymore Jared. It’s time you stop viewing the world as one and start seeing it and the people in it through the eyes and with the understanding and maturity of the grown man you are. People make mistakes, they make bad decisions and say stupid things and sometimes it takes them a long time to figure things out, you should know that.”

“Jesus this again. Tell me Jensen, is this going to be the norm for all our fights from now on? We argue and then you throw in my face that I fucked-up and because of that you’re going to be right about everything forever. What happened to, let’s not define our entire relationship on the last few months Jared, and all those things you said? You say we’re fine and even that you had a part in what happened but now it’s all my fault and I’ve apparently been the most awful boyfriend in the whole world for years. When you‘re the one who‘s been going behind my back for two years. Which is it Jensen, make up your damn mind!”

Jared feels a little excited when Jensen actually get’s up from the chair, like he’s finally getting a response, like he is a part of the fight and not just observing and lecturing.

“I can’t Jared, I can’t make up my mind because one minute your this amazing grown man who’s attentive and considerate and who listen to every word I say and looks at me like I’m the most important person in the world, like the earth will stop turning if you take your eyes off me for one second. But the next you're that fiery-eyed boy with a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas and a score to settle so big it shouldn’t be possible. And Jared, I’ve loved him, I’ve loved him so much, even those day’s when I got out of bed at four in the morning to iron his suit and make him breakfast and pack his briefcase and bake three hundred cookies for his colleagues. And then he rolled out of bed two hours later, put on the suit, ate the breakfast, took the briefcase and the cookies but didn’t even say good morning, didn’t even notice I was there.

But I loved you and I put up with it because I knew where you were going, what you were fighting for and the man you would become if you could just win this fight. But I’m fed-up with him now Jared, I can’t deal with the boy with a score to settle anymore, I want the man.

You’re everything to me and I don’t want to hold this over your head, I really meant what I said. But if all of this, all these things you’ve done these past months are just a way to get me back to the exact same place I was before all of this, I can’t do it. I don’t care if you forgive your parents, you don’t have to. But at least be man enough to tell them that, and if you don‘t forgive them, then you have to at least let them go. Because if you don‘t I can‘t stay here, I can’t live in your tiny, tiny world and be a soldier in your crusade against your father any longer, I just can’t.”

Jensen's hands are shaking, Jared feels like he’s been torn open and everything inside of him is spilling out on the floor in front of him and he’s just standing there, watching it happen.

“I can’t.” Jensen voice is a whisper and then a door closes and Jared realizes Jensen just left.

Jared thinks this is what dying must feel like.

Jared can feel his knees give out and his whole body dropping to the floor like a boneless heap of flesh. A fleeting thought that the drop should really have made his knees hurt passes in front of his closed eyes, but he just folds into himself and screams into the floor. His heart is racing, his whole body shaking and he can feel his breath coming out in fast heavy bursts.

It feels like forever before he can uncurl himself and roll over on to his back, staring up at the ceiling.  

Jared’s hand reaches down into the pocket of the jacket he’s still wearing and takes out his phone, he stares at the display watching the minutes change one after the other for over an hour before entering his pin code and dialing a number he hasn’t used in over a decade but still remembers.

“This is Gerald.”

“Daddy.”     

There’s a sharp intake of breath on the other side of the line, two heartbeats of complete silence then;

“Jared?”

“Yeah.”

Another two seconds of silence.

“Jared your mommas standing right here beside me, I’m going to put you on speaker, ok?”

“Yeah.”                                                                                                                                                              

“Jared!?” It’s his mommas voice and Jared starts to cry, silently.

“Jared, is Jensen alright did something happen?” Still his momma's voice and the only time Jared can remember her ever sounding so afraid is when he tripped down their grand staircase when he was twelve dislocating his shoulder and banging his head on the marble floor.

“Jared, what’s happened.” His father's voice again, calm, strong, steady as a rock.”

“I fucked-up, I fucked-up so bad with Jensen, I don’t know how I’m ever going to set it right.”

“Jared, why don’t you tell us what happened and I’m sure we can figure this out.”

So he does, Jared talks and talks and talks. He talks about the last few months, about the fight he just had with Jensen. He talks about college and work and the cases he’s worked on. He talks about his and Jensen’s life and the house they just bought. He talks about London and spending seventeen-hundred dollars on a single suit and how beautiful Jensen looked in it. He tells them about Jeff and how they met and what he’s meant to Jared. About making partner and when he lost the Altman case and thought his career would never recover.

He tells them about Jensen’s cookies and how he always smells like warm summer rain in the mornings and that he’s getting crow's feet around his eyes but that it’s only making him more beautiful. He tells them about law school and not sleeping for weeks when he took his final exams, about the first time he saw Jensen teaching and how amazing it was.

He talks about graduating and how it felt that they weren’t there.

Then Jared screams at them, he screams for hours, about everything he’s ever been angry about, about calling Jensen trash, about them abandoning him, about getting GI Joe for Christmas when he was seven when he told them fifty times he wanted He-Man.

Jared yells until his throat is raw and finally he’s got nothing more to scream about but the anger is still pumping in his body with every heartbeat so he throws the phone into the wall and just screams right into the empty apartment.

A while later when Jared can breathe again and realizes that through it all, they said nothing just listened, he crawls over to the landline and dials the number again.

This time Jared listens, listens as his momma sobs in the background and his father's voice cracks as he talks about all the things Jensen tried to tell him about, but Jared didn’t want to hear. Jared listens, just as Jensen asked him to, with the ears of a grown man instead of the ones of a disappointed child. Listens and has to come to terms with the truth, however hard and sour the lesson is. His momma is not Mary Poppins and his daddy is not Superman.  Gerald and Sherri Padalecki are not infallible, they’re just human.  

“We’re so sorry, Jared, we are so sorry.”

“I know.”

“Can you forgive us?”

“Yes.”

It’s easy, Jared thought it would be harder like the word would hurt or feel raw, but it’s easy, it’s liberating and finally he understands what Jensen meant, that they’ve both been confined by Jared’s anger.

There’s a clock on the wall right in front of Jared, it’s four o’clock in the morning and Jared has no idea where Jensen is.

“I have to find Jensen.”

He doesn’t know why but somehow it makes perfect sense, as Jared drives down the almost empty street he just knows that of all the places Jensen could have gone this, is the only place he would go.

As Jared pulls in on the driveway, he can see the outline of the tower in the darkness and the porch swing rocking in the breeze coming in from the waterfront. Jared gets out of the car and opens the trunk, taking out the emergency bag Jensen insisted they keep there after seeing a segment on the Martha Stewart show about people getting trapped in their cars during natural disasters and how you should always keep a bag of essentials in your trunk in case of emergencies.

He walks up the stairs onto the porch up to the door, pushes the handle and the door opens, just like he knew it would. Jared takes out the battery powered lantern and turns it on.

He finds him sitting on the floor leaning against the large kitchen island, even in the dim light Jared can see the bloodshot, red rimmed eyes and dried tear tracks on his face and it’s just the worst thing he’s seen, ever. Jared goes down on his knees in front of him, reaches out and takes a gentle hold of the back of his neck, pulls Jensen towards him and kisses him.

Jensen melts into the kiss but seconds later he sobs, starts to cry again and tries to pull away.

“I can’t Jared, I can’t.”

Jared doesn’t let go he holds on firm but gentle until Jensen gives in and looks up. Jared meets his stare, doesn’t blink, doesn’t squirm or try and look away.

“You talked to them.” It’s a statement rather than a question.

“Yeah.” The hand that isn’t holding Jensen’s neck, reaches out and wipes the tears from Jensen’s cheeks.

“How was it?”

“Strange and completely natural, like talking to strangers and like I talked to them just yesterday. Heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. I don’t know, I feel like I’ve gone through every emotion I’m capable of in the last few hours.”

“What happened.”

“I forgave them.”

“How do you feel?

“Unshackled.”

“Do you forgive me?” Jared laughs a little, smiles and kisses Jensen until he can feel his own toes curl.

“Do you forgive me?”

Jensen smiles back, “Always.”

Reluctantly Jared let’s go and takes out the large double sleeping bag from Jensen’s emergency bag. Just in case they ever get snowed in their car and have to stay warm, it _could_ happen!

Jared rolls it out on the kitchen floor and pats it with an inviting leer;

“It’s our first night in our new house.”

“Technically it’s morning Jared, and no way, I’m too old, my knees have not forgiven me for that hotel carpet.”

Jared looks around, sees the kitchen island and it’s perfect height, Jensen follows his gaze.

“Oh no, no Jared, we are not having sex on my brand new kitchen island, the countertop is real marble, Jared!”

They have sex on Jensen's brand new kitchen island with a countertop made out of real marble.

Three times.


	9. Chapter 9

**Martha Says:**

_“So the pie isn’t perfect? Cut it into wedges. Stay in control, and never panic.”_

 

 

It’s past noon when they finally wake-up, they both groan as they try to move their bodies after hours spent sleeping on a wooden floor, they come to an agreement right there that the whole sleeping on a floor thing is now officially a thing of the past.

 

Trying to make themselves pass as presentable before heading out to get some breakfast Jared remembers something from the night before;

“I forgot, my parents are coming to stay with us for Thanksgiving. They really wanted to come see us and now with the new house and everything we have the room. So, I said they could come, I know it might get awkward but we talked about it and agreed to take it slow and if anything feels weird they’ll go stay at a hotel, I hope you don’t mind.”

Looking over at Jensen, Jared can see that he’s frozen in the middle of  a movement;

“I’m sorry, I thought you just said that your parents will be joining us for Thanksgiving.”

“Um, yeah, by the tone of your voice I’m guessing it not a good thing. . .”

Jensen inhales through his nose and exhales through his mouth a few time in what Jared guesses is an effort to calm himself.

“I’d love for your parents to stay with us Jared, I think it’s long overdue, but . . .” Jensen inhales and exhales again, slowly,

“. . . Thanksgiving is barely four weeks away. Just planning and making the Thanksgiving dinner is a _two week project_. Then there’s the decorating and the shopping and the baking and I have to make a door wreath and the centerpiece for the table. To do that I have to decide on a theme for the decorations. On top of all that I have to move us _out_ of the apartment and _into_ this house, and make sure it's all presentable for having your parents stay with us for the first time. Oh my God, we don’t even have enough furniture to furnish this house let alone things to decorate it with, and I’ll have to clean it I mean there's dust and, and, and oh my God, _Jared!”_

Jensen actually bends forward and Jared can hear him start to hyperventilate, quickly Jared takes hold of Jensen, grabs him so he can lift him up on the kitchen counter,  takes a gentle but firm hold of his face so he can look him straight in the eyes.

“Jensen, you can do this. You already have everything planned, the packing and unpacking, the move, the furniture, the organisation down to the tiniest cupboard and shelf, everything is in your homekeeping handbook. You can do this. Well hire a moving firm and I’ll get everyone at the office to help us, they owe you for all the cookies you’ve made them through the years.”

Jensen does his best to get his breathing under control but starts to shake his head at Jared's words. “Jensen, you can do this, Martha has taught you well, you know what to do, I believe in you Jensen.”

Jensen closes his eyes, nods his head slightly and when he opens them again there’s a fiery determination in them.

“If I do this, if I am actually able to get this done, you’re going to take me to Paris for New Years Eve.”

“I’ll call Misha from the car.”

 

The next morning Jared’s at the office by eight, he answers questions about London, get’s congratulated on the house, gets the latest news about their more important cases and shakes his head as the latest sordid details about Chris and Chad's lives are revealed. It’s Monday so by nine their weekly staff meeting is supposed to take place, two minutes to nine everyone in the office has take place around their large conference table. Jeff is standing at the head of it ready to start the meeting when suddenly the double doors to their conference room are opened and Jensen, carrying two enormous baskets with cookies and his housekeeping handbook and a large binder tucked under one arm, walks through the doors.

He looks impeccable in his two piece tawny brown tweed suit and an olive green shirt. Everyone's attention is immediately centered on the two baskets, but Jensen ignores them, walks over to the head of the table pushing past Jeff and places the baskets on a sideboard behind him.  He places his handbook and binder in front of him on the table before turning to Jeff;

“I’m taking over the meeting.”

Jeff, after casting a quick glance at the baskets standing behind Jensen and then Jensen's determined face just nods and sits down on the closest available chair.

Jensen turns around to the whiteboard  behind him and starts drawing up columns naming them things like apartment, house, garden, shopping, and so on, he reaches behind him and opens up his binder and starts filling the different columns with names containing all the people in the office.

In the middle of it all the doors open again and Mark walks in. Jensen looks over, smiles and reaches over into one basket taking out a cookie and handing it to Mark before saying;

“Mark, I’m so glad you could come, everyone this is Mark, Mark this is everyone, there’s an available chair down there  between Chris and Chad, please take a seat.”

Mark gives a slightly smug smile as he walks casually down the room and takes a seat nibbling away at his cookies. Everyone including Jared looks on with a slightly terrified look, of course everyone else looks terrified because it’s just dawned on them that maybe all the cookies are for Mark, Jared is terrified because watching Mark settle in between Chad and Chris he immediately gets the image of Lucifer taking his throne and his minions gathering around him.  Introducing Mark to Chad and Chris could be the one thing that will tip the scales´in hell's favor and bring on the apocalypse.

Jared figures if that’s the case, he’s lucky that The King of Hell really likes Jensen.

Once he’s finished writing Jensen turns and begins to address the people in front of him.

“Thank you for your patience, as some of you might know, there have recently been some changes in mine and Jared's life, starting obviously with Jared making partner. We’ve also made the decision to become homeowners and just recently we’ve mended our relationship with Jared’s previously estranged parents.”

At that Jeff raises an eyebrow and looks over at Jared, not in a disapproving way it’s more  of a ‘how come this is the first I’ve heard of it’ way. Jared quietly mouths “Tell you about it later” before looking over at Jensen again.

“As a consequence of these three changes Jared’s parents, my in-laws will be joining us for Thanksgiving in our new home. So, I have four weeks to move out of our old apartment, into our new house, which I will need to decorate, furnish etc. On top of that I have to plan and cook a Thanksgiving dinner for eight people.”

Immediately Chris hand shoots up and starts waving to get Jensen's attention, the large array of thin leather bracelets with different decorations around his wrist making a jingling sound, Jensen nods giving Chris permission to speak.

“Yeah, I was just wondering who’s included in those eight people coming to your Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Well, obviously me and Jared, Jared’s parents, Jeff, Mark, Chad and . . .”

Chris, pulling his long brown hair away from his face in a nervous movement while holding his breath looks at Jensen with ill concealed distress on his face.

“and, who’s the eighth person?” Chris' voice has suddenly taken on a slightly higher note.

“That depends Chris, are you ever going to hit Jared again?”

“Never, I’ll never punch him again Jensen, I promise!”

“Then you’re the eighth person Chris.” Chris collapses back in his chair and exhales in relief.

Jared wants to ask how the hell Jensen’s had the time not only to convince Mark to come here but to invite him to their Thanksgiving dinner, but it’s Jensen so Jared figures it’s best not to even try to understand and just go with the flow.

“Seeing as I’ve kept you all in cookies, organised, cooked and baked for all your Christmas parties and other functions this office has held these past five years, I’m of the opinion that you all owe me, big time. Therefore, if you ever want to eat a single bite of my cookies ever again, everything you’re doing, everything you think is of utmost importance is now put on hold, from now on and for the coming four weeks, when you are not busy at work  I own your time.”

The last line is said with a voice laced with steel daring anyone to question him.

“I’ve organised you all into different groups which will be responsible for different tasks, the person written at the top of every group is the group-leader. Chris and Chad who’ve both secured a spot on the top of a column each look smug until Jensen looks over and says with a clam icy tone;

“Remember, I’m expecting each group-leader to take this all very seriously and I will hold you personally responsible if anything doesn’t go according to my plans. I’ve written very detailed instructions along with a timetable that I will hand out to each group-leader. I can not stress enough how important it is that you do everything in the exact order and in the time I’ve planned out, you’re all part of an extremely complicated puzzle and if one of you deviates just inches from my plan we will all fail.”  

Chris, Chad, Jeff, and Jared all take on a slightly pale look as Jensen hands out their assignments and responsibilities as group-leaders.

The rest of the people in the office all look slightly nauseous but that can’t keep them from casting longing glances over at the two baskets standing behind Jensen. Well, almost everyone.

“Wait, seriously, you expect me to spend all my free time helping you play Martha Stewart for four weeks, all for a few stupid cookies.”

There’s a collective horrified gasp in the room as the words echo through it. Jensen looks over to where the words came from, arching one perfectly groomed brow at the young, busty blond sitting there looking way too full of herself and her own importance, giving her an icy stare as he slowly looks her over before turning to Jeff.

“Jeff, who’s the legally blond wannabe?”

Jeff looks slightly panicked and Jared can feel himself inch down in his chair to get closer to the floor in case he has to duck for cover. Jensen is the least offensive person Jared has ever met, but he does not react well to bad manners and poor etiquette.

“New intern, she hasn’t learnt how things work yet Jensen, don’t worry, I’ll explain everything.”

“Really Jeff, I thought you as the senior partner called the shots around here, not one of the the junior partners airhead boytoys.”

Jeff looks like he’s about to faint and his eyes goes big as saucers as he quietly gasps out,

“No! Bad intern! Bad, bad intern! No cookies for you!”

Jensen looks completely calm as he smoothly takes off his suit jacket and neatly hangs it over the back of a chair before turning to the intern.

“First of all dear, that’s _Mr. Morgan_ to you, as an intern you are at the very bottom of the pecking order around here and you don’t call the senior partner at this firm Jeff. He’s Mr. Morgan, just as Chad is Mr. Murray, Chris is Mr. Kane and Jared is Mr. Padalecki. As we’ve just met I can inform you that my last name is Ackles, but seeing as I’m not your superior you are quite welcome to call me Jensen.

Furthermore although Mr. Padalecki does indeed enjoy playing with me, I think it’s quite apparent that I’m past my boyhood years. As for being an airhead I’m a Harvard graduate, which I attended on a full scholarship, meaning Harvard paid me to study there not the other way around. And just like Mr. Morgan and the other partners at this firm, I graduated at the top of my class.”

The intern has started to look a little nervous but does her best to conceal it and look indifferent.

“Now, I realise my darling that you’re very ambitious and confident in a way only a twenty-something can be. And I realise by the look of that tiny waist in that _very bad_ knock off Chanel suit you’re wearing that you probably don’t indulge in cookies. But let me explain a few things to you that will undoubtedly make your climb  to the higher levels in the law firm hierarchy a lot smoother.”

Jensen leans against the sideboard in a casual way before he continues.

“Firstly, don’t ever question the people at the top of the hierarchy, if they want your opinion, they’ll ask for it.

Secondly, insulting their significant others is not a good idea. Unless they’re Chad, odds are they’re probably quite fond of them and you insulting them will undoubtedly make them cranky.”

Jared nods his head vigorously, from his slumped position half way down the chair, to show that he undoubtedly is quite fond of Jensen and this is indeed making him cranky.

“Thirdly, do what you’re told and do it well and you will in time, climb that ladder.

Fourthly, don’t do a platinum blond look on an intern budget, to do platinum blond you need a fantastic and most likely expensive hairdresser. _Obviously_ you don’t have one, so until you can afford one, go for a honey blond it’s so much more forgiving when you have to dye your own hair.

Fifthly, don’t do designer knock-offs, _you are fooling no one_ and it makes you look cheap and tacky. You a very pretty girl, and can put together super chic outfits on a budget with just a little effort or why not try a vintage look.

And, finally, in the spirit of the divine Martha Stewart, ambition, intelligence and skill are all well and good, but manners and class will be the thing that makes you stand out and be remembered.”

Jensen reaches into one of the baskets behind him and takes out a cookie handing it to the intern who’s now taken on a slightly crimson shade.

“Now, be a good girl, eat your cookie and do as you are told.”

After that small and quite uneven battle of will and wits there s no more discussion. Jensen finishes handing out everyone's instructions, dishing out orders like a seasoned general, before finally;

“You all know what to do, Mark, you and I have shopping to do, I’m counting on you to get me outstanding deals.”

Mark smiles; “Making outstanding deals is what I do, Jensen.”

Jensen smiles back, before saying; “I think that’s everything, remember we’re on a tight schedule, I know four weeks sounds like a lot of time, but believe me, it’s not. Everyone please help yourself to some cookies once Mark and I have left.”

As Mark and Jensen start making their way towards the door everyone else stands up and gets in position to start racing over to the baskets. Just as they all are about to start racing across the room Jensen turns in the doorway, looks over at Chad with a thoughtful look on his face and then;

“You, intern girl, what’s your name?”

Intern girl now licking her fingers clean looks up and quickly answers; “Becky.”

“You’re coming with me, we’ll address this disaster...” Jensen makes a hand gesture indicating the mentioned disaster being Becky’s overall look,  “. . . on the way, I know a fantastic vintage shop just next door to our first stop.”

 

 

In hindsight Jared will admit that Jensen might have been right about the fact that Jared sometimes acts before he thinks things through, although Jared thinks Jensen really ought to take some of the blame for being so incredibly awesome Jared doesn’t actually have to think things through because no matter what idiotic un-doable thing he comes up with Jensen always comes through.

 

 

 

Even so, Jared might just have miscalculated, a fraction or so, just how much work it takes to move out of one apartment and into a house, even with both professional movers  and a law firm at their disposal it’s a lot of work. Add to that the stress of having to follow Jensen's, meticulously planned out schedule and the promise of death and despair if they fail to complete their tasks in time.  And that’s just the moving part, how Jensen actually manages to oversee all the work, buy the things they need for the new house, decorate the house, and at the same time planning and preparing a grand Thanksgiving dinner, all the while making sure everyone else is doing what they’re told, it’s mindboggling.

Jared takes a last look around what used to be their bedroom, he’s not going to miss this apartment. It’s been their home for five years, so yes, he’s feeling maybe a little sentimental.  But the place they’re going, it’s a real home, somewhere they can actually live, build a real life instead of just existing while waiting for Jared’s goals to be achieved.

Jared looks down at the box at his feet, it was supposed to be taken down to the truck with all the others, but this is Jared’s box, he needs it. There are two more scrapbooks inside of it, two more dreams Jensen is waiting to be fulfilled. Jared reaches into the box and takes out the second to last scrapbook;

 

[Tying the Knot](http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/interests/tying-the-knot-9438731?vk=mK4wXkUjgU)

 

Sometimes Jared’s surprised by how painfully obvious some things are once he’s been told about them by someone else. Obviously Jensen want’s to get married, sure they’ve not talked about it, and Jensen’s never, as far as Jared can recall, mentioned it, but then Jared’s missed a lot of things the past few years. So, it’s possible that Jensen's been hinting and Jared just hasn't gotten it. Either way it doesn’t matter, _obviously_ Jensen would want to get married now, when they actually can.

Jared would be the first to admit that he’s been beyond bad at the whole gay rights thing. It’s just never really been an issue. Or, of course it has, with all the papers on the table so to speak, it has been a major issue. But for Jared it’s been an issue with a very personal nemesis, Jared’s been too busy with his personal vendetta toward his parents to pay much attention to the gay question as a whole. The fact that the first guy Jared was ever attracted to or did anything with turned out to be the love of his life and they became monogamous and a “boring old couple” almost immediately, was probably also a factor that kind of excluded them from the overall gay community.

It’s not a conscious decision, it’s just Jared’s never felt a need for anyone else than Jensen and he’s never paid much attention to the fact that most of their friends are straight. But, even though they might not be a power couple in the gay community, they’re still a couple, and they have been for a long time.

Obviously Jensen want’s to get married.

Thinking about it Jared thinks him and Jensen getting married is the best idea since, well honestly since ever. If they get married Jared will be able to shove their marriage certificate in the face of anyone who would ever dare to try anything. Jared would be Jensen’s husband, his husband. And they would be married.

Jensen would be Jared’s by law, it’s fantastic! Well, not Jared’s like Jensen belongs to him or is Jared’s possession, but like, they’re committed to each other for life, there would be vows and all of that stuff and Jensen would take it all very seriously. He’d probably change his name, Jensen Padalecki, tasting the name Jared almost starts to drool, it’s too fucking perfect.  Goodbye Jensen Ackles who everyone flirts with and thinks they can steal from Jared, hello Jensen Padalecki, with a ring on his finger and a husband with a matching one.

Jensen would look fantastic with a Jared’s ring on his finger…

Obviously, getting married would also be a good idea because, well, they love each other and are now more committed than ever before. So obviously getting married is just a natural finish line for this journey they’ve been on the past few months.

It’s settled, Jared’s going to propose to Jensen, but this time he’s not going to rush into things, this time Jared is going to think things through, Jensen deserves a fantastic proposal, and Jared is going to give him one.

It’s a miracle, an honest to god miracle and Jared has no idea how they, mainly meaning Jensen, actually pulls it off. But somehow, twenty-four hours before they’re set to host their first ever Thanksgiving dinner in their new house, twelve hours before Jared’s set to pick-up his long estranged parents from the airport, they’re done. Standing on his, their, porch, tiredly waving goodnight to the last lingering lawyers and legal aids making their way to the last car standing in the driveway, Jared’s exhausted mind tries to wrap his head around how the hell this all came together so damn smoothly. The answer to that question is of course very easy and right now leaning against the kitchen island (with a countertop made out of real marble) an extremely large glass of red wine in his hand.  

Jared walks right up to him, takes firm grip around his waist and promptly lifts Jensen up so he’s sitting on the kitchen island, before reaching out, taking the large glass of wine and drinking half of it in one big swing. Jensen looks a bit put out when Jared hands him back the now half empty glass but instead of saying something he just shrugs his shoulders, looks at the glass and proceeds to follow Jared’s example and empties the rest of the glass, and then saying;  

“It was a bad vintage anyway.”

Jared just hums, he’s exhausted and judging by the way Jensen just let him manhandle him up on the kitchen island (with the marble countertop) and then didn’t even raise an eyebrow in disapproval when Jared  gulped down half a glass of good wine, (Jensen _does not_ buy bad wine, ever) like it was a two dollar beer in some dingy roadside bar. Jared’s got a pretty good guess that no matter how impeccable and composed he might look, Jensen is pretty damned exhausted too.

Jared reaches for the half empty wine bottle, it really is a very big glass;

“If you drink straight from that bottle, Jared I swear I’m going on a sexstrike.”

Jared would laugh if he didn’t still so vividly remember “the great coaster sexstrike of 2009” and fills up the empty glass with the other half of the bottle.

“I would never do that to you, Jensen.”

Jensen, just hums and takes the glass from Jared’s hand and takes a sip before saying;

“The next time you get a great idea, Jared would you mind running it by me before you set it in motion.”

Jared, now holding the glass, just nods his agreement - too tired to give a lengthy answer.

“In my defense though, Jensen you do kind of enable me when you’re always so awesome.”

Jensen takes another sip of wine, hands the glass back to Jared and with his eyes closed just hums again. As an afterthought his eyes slide open; “You mister, are taking me to Paris for New Year's Eve, you promised you would if I pulled this off.”

Jared yawns loudly, his eyes slide closed as he answers; “It’s already booked.”

Jensen smiles and leans forward so his forehead is resting against one of Jared’s shoulders. Jared who’s nestled his way in between Jensen's legs puts the now empty glass down on the countertop (made from real marble) and puts his arms around Jensen, letting his hands travel down and nestling their way between the countertop and Jensen's firm buttocks. Jared bends his head so he can reach that special spot behind one of Jensen's ears and traces feather light kisses down the sensitive skin.

“Speaking of sex…”

“You can not be serious, Jared, neither of us can keep our eyes open.”

“That is a very good point, I however have an argument that I think will make you see things my way.”

Jensen, still leaning his head against Jared’s shoulder huffs out a small quiet laugh before;

“Let’s hear it.”

“I’m going to start with a question.”

Jensen continues the evenings monosyllabic theme and hums, again.

“”Would you consider having sex with me, knowing that my parents are sleeping in the same house.”

“Not in a million years.”

“That’s what I thought. So, my lovely prude, to my closing argument. In exactly eleven hours my parents will walk into this house. If this reunion goes well, which we all hope it will, they will be staying with us for the next week. That's seven day’s Jensen, seven days we won't have sex. I’m just going to let you think about that for a little while… seven day’s, Jensen.”

At Jared's words, Jensen lifts his head slightly and looks at him. He blinks twice tiredly, makes a slightly put out sound and then; “You’re doing all the work, _all the work._ ”

Jared smiles into Jensen’s hair before taking a firm hold and hoisting him up over his shoulder, making his way towards the staircase and their bedroom.

“I can live with that.”

Jared’s always liked carrying Jensen, or just generally manhandling him when ever he gets the opportunity. Jared thinks it’s probably got something to do with him being so tall and gangly all his adolescence,  always too skinny and no control over his limbs. So when he in his mid-twenties finally grew into his own body and in the process beefed up quite a bit, he got kind of excited that he if he wanted to, he could manhandle Jensen like a ragdoll.  

Jensen wasn’t quite as thrilled when Jared started doing it, but through the years he’s learnt to pick his battles and now every time Jared gets the urge to walk up and throw him over his shoulder for no particular reason, he just goes with it. Anyway, they both know who’s the strong one in this relationship, so Jensen let’s Jared have this.

Jared would have loved to christen their new antique four poster bed, with an no boundaries, all night long, sexfest. Seriously though, those posters are just screaming for someone (Jensen) to be tied to them. As it is, they’re both exhausted and just a little bit drunk, so when they reach the bedroom Jared, carefully, puts Jensen down on top of the covers and just kind of slides in on top of him, finding a comfortable position between Jensen's spread, bent legs.

Jared supports his upper body on his bent forearms as he leans down and looks at Jensen's sleepy face, eye’s slowly blinking, fighting to stay open. He stroked a stray hair from Jensen forehead, leans down and kisses him.

Jared’s too tired for finesse, he makes quick work of Jensen's and his own clothing. When Jared reaches towards the nightstand his arm lands in a perfect position for Jensen to snuggle in close. Jared almost caves, thinking that he really just can’t be bothered. But then he remembers that it’ll be seven days before he’ll have Jensen in this position again, so he gently nudges Jensen over on to his stomach.

Jensen is pliant and warm under Jareds hands, the smooth, soft skin covering the strong muscles of his back twitch when Jared lets his fingers ghost down over it, making the dustings of freckles covering it dance.

Jared lets one hand slide up Jensen's body coming to rest in a gentle grip in his hair that helps Jared reach his favorite spot just in the grove where Jensen's neck ends and his shoulders begin. Jared bends his head down, lets his lips taste, feels Jensen shudder when he lets his teeth nip the sensitive skin. Jared lets his entire heavy weight drop down on Jensen, so he can feel all of him.

Jensen makes a small huffing sound and mumbles sleepily into the pillow; “Is that an anaconda in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

Jared stops his mouths preoccupation with the groove just above Jensen's left collarbone, brings his mouth right up close to Jensen's ear, so close that his lips ghost the rim when he answers; “I’m not wearing any pants.”

Jensen shudders again when Jareds warm breath hits the delicate skin behind his ear and mumbles; “So just happy to see me then.”

“I’m always happy to see you.” Jared continues his oral and sensory exploration of Jensen's back, letting his mouth and hands trail down his spine. “Even more so when you’re naked and comparing my penis to an anaconda.”

Jensen lets out a small breathy laugh into the pillow that melts into a moan, Jareds fingers having reached their final destination, his voice not quite as steady when he answers; “I like your penis, it does good work and deserves a little positive reinforcement.”

Jareds fingers preoccupied, and his mouth having reached that perfect spot on Jensen’s body where his back melts into  two wonderful curves traveling upward, hums out his approval and cements it by biting down right at the base of one finely shaped globe while applying just the right amount of pressure at just the right angle making Jensen’s pelvis arch of the bed. Jared takes advantage of the space left between Jensen's body and the bed and winds an arm under Jensen, using it to pull him up on his knees.

Jared gets in position, leans over Jensen's back and whispers in his ear; “You say the sweetest things, my penis is very grateful.” before putting said penis to work.


	10. Chapter 10

**Martha Says:**

_“You should feel good about making your home nice for your family and friends._  
_You should feel great about cooking a good dinner, it’s all part of life ”_

_ _

Jared’s heart is pounding as he parks the car at the airport. He wishes Jensen was there with him, but he’s got his hands full with dinner preparations. Anyway, they both agreed that Jared needed to do this alone. That this first initial contact face to face with his parents in almost twelve years should be between just Jared and his parents.  It’s the right decision, but right now making his way towards arrivals Jared feels his stomach turn. This really could go either way and Jared has no idea how he will react seeing his parents.

He so desperately wants to believe that he really can forgive and move on. But, in the back of his head, a tiny voice of doubt is nagging him. Making him worry that once he actually sees them it won’t be that easy. Either way Jared’s going to find out any minute now, it’s a small airport and walking through the doors to the main terminal building Jared quickly makes his way towards  arrivals.

Jared sees them before they see him and Jared has to stop and try to take in what he’s seeing. They’re old, not old, _old_. Older. Jared never really stopped and thought about what eleven years really means. Eleven years going from nineteen to thirty is of course, a long time but you go from adolescent to adult. But eleven years going from middle aged to, god, it hit’s Jared right there that both his parents have passed sixty.

His father's thick brown hair which the last time Jared saw him just had some speckles of gray at the temples, is now a dark silver. His face is still strong but lined, and there’s a softness about him that Jared hasn’t seen before. Or maybe it’s sadness. But he’s still his father, still tall and strong, handsome in a gentlemanly kind of way, in his black wool overcoat and a dark burgundy cashmere scarf.  

The lines are there in his mother's face too. Jared’s glad though. Glad that she’s stood against the pressure of their social circle and allowed herself to age with grace and class. Her golden blond mane, now probably dyed, is done up in a stylish hairdo. Her face is carefully made-up in subtle muted colors. One thing that hasn't changed though, is her love of fashion and color. Her royal blue coat and snow white cashmere shawl shine under the flourescent lights.

It’s a shock, that really shouldn’t be one, but Jared’s parents are getting old. Suddenly he’s not worried at all, it’s not worth it, there’s been enough anger, enough fear and lost time.   

Even from far away Jared can see that his mother's iceblue eyes are frantically searching the terminal, and his father's strong jaw is tight, like they’re afraid Jared won’t show up, that he’s changed his mind.

Enough. Jared feels it in his entire being. Enough now. He exhales, let’s it all go, and then he steps out in their eyesight and swiftly starts to walk right towards them.

Jared knows the exact second they see him, sees the same surprise on their faces that must have been on his own just a few moments ago. Granted, they’ve probably seen pictures of him in the articles Jensen sent to them, but seeing him in real life walking towards them as a grown man must be as strange for them as it’s for Jared to realize that they’ve aged.

A hand covered in a snow white glove comes up to cover his mother's mouth when she sees him and Jared can see his father take a deep breath as if to calm himself, or maybe, prepare. They’re probably as worried as Jared was. There’s no need, Jared’s done with being angry, he’s just happy. His last few strides are long and fast, and the second Jared comes up to them he winds his long arms around his mother and lifts her into a long overdue hug. She breaks down, sobbing loudly.  Jared can feel her shake in his arms. He strokes her hair softly and murmurs soothingly in her ear. Her fingers clench in Jared’s overcoat like she needs to hold on to him or he’ll disappear. Over her shoulder Jared meets his father's moist stare, he opens his mouth as if to say something but Jared shakes his head and ends the thread of apologies and endless uncomfortable conversations that are looming over them.

Jared gently puts his mother down, he looks at them both; “Enough, eleven years is enough. We can’t change what happened and no amount of talking, apologizing or agonizing is going to change that. I don’t want to be in this place anymore, let’s just accept what we’ve lost and move on.” His mother nods into the kleenex she’s using as she does her best to try and save her carefully done-up face. His father takes another deep breath, closes his eyes and when he opens them the hazel stare is the same as Jared remembers.

Jared can’t help it, but turning into their driveway and seeing his parents reaction to their house he feels insanely proud. They did this, Jared and Jensen. Their hard work has brought them to this place where Jared can take his parents home to his beachfront, two story victorian house with the gingerbread woodcarvings, a porch swing, and an honest to god tower.

The house looks impeccable of course. There’s a large wreath made from orange, red and yellow leaves and tiny pumpkins and gourds in multiple colors hanging from the porch roof and a matching one on the door. On a small vintage table Jensen's created a matching display with orange and red gerberas, large sunflowers and homemade beeswax candles in the shape of pumpkins.

The garden's been given a much needed facelift and Jensen’s placed planters with incredible fall plantings along the path up to the house.

As they approach the porch the front door opens and Jensen steps out. It’s a great feeling seeing his mother embrace Jensen while looking so happy, but it’s when his father embraces him in one of his grand bearhugs and then gently cups his face looking intently into his eyes that Jared knows everything is going to be ok.

Jareds insides goes all fuzzy watching Jensen lead Jareds parents through the house, going from room to room and being showered in praise for what he’s achieved. It’s well earned, the house is amazing, it could be on the front page of any of those glossy interior design magazines Jensen loves so much. Jensen’s stayed true to the light scandinavian look he outlined in the scrapbook. All the rooms are airy and bright, but there’s an eclectic mix between old and new, with sturdy antique light wood furniture, thick rugs, modern art hanging beside framed victorian portrait photographs, a modern scrap metal coffee table framed by old wingback armchairs.

The fantastic dining room table made from driftwood that Jensen found at local furniture carpenter is surrounded by classic dining room chairs with a fantastic  blue linen fabric. A large vintage chandelier hanging over it and slimline table lamps in silver on the sideboard.

It shouldn’t work, the mix is insane, but Jensen makes it all look effortless, Jared’s so damned proud.    

They all have just enough time to finish the house tour, freshen-up and spend a few comfortable minutes talking in the kitchen while Jensen continues with his preparations.

“Jensen dear, are you sure there isn’t anything I can do, I feel utterly useless just standing here”

Jensen’s politely declines any help again, Jared’s just about to gently coax his mother away from Jensen to stop her from interrupting Jensen's carefully laid out and timed down to the last minute plan, when he’s saved by the doorbell and their guests arriving.

Thanksgiving 2015 in the Padalecki-Ackles household has officially started.

 

[Thanksgiving 2015](http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/cooking/thanksgiving-2015-5710718?vk=ioMa4VgRFq)

 

Jared introduces everyone and then quickly, before Jensen comes out with the welcome drinks, puts on his badass face and turns his attention to Chad and Chris; “Now you two listen. This is our first Thanksgiving in this house and with my parents. This is really important to Jensen, don’t fuck anything up, or I swear you’ll never be invited to this house ever again. No obscene cursing, no getting drunk, no slouching or graphic stories of your sexcapades. You will say, yes, please and thank you, you will use your napkins, you will observe proper etiquette and table manners, got it?”

Jared expects them to try and talk back but they both just nod solemnly like they understand the importance of the situation they’re in. All the while Mark stands by leaning casually against a wall and smiling in that special way only he does. Meanwhile Jeff has already stuck up an intense conversation with Jared’s father, who had raised his eyebrows and asked if he was _that_ Jeffrey Dean Morgan, _the_ Jeffrey Dean Morgan who represented Juan Alvarez against “Sunburst Fruit” . When Jeff confirms that yes, he is indeed _that_ Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Gerry Padalecki looks impressed and by the time they’ve all sat down at Jensen's meticulously tablescaped thanksgiving table, they’re both completely engrossed in a discussion about some obscure legal practice that Jared’s never heard of.

Dinner is perfect of course, Jensen's outdone himself and the two dining room sideboards he’s using as buffet tables are brimming with one delicacy after another. Jared has no idea what most of it is, Jensen is firm in his belief that food like fashion quickly goes out of style and although there will always be a few timeless classics, cooking the same thing in exactly the same way year after year, after year is a sure way to kill your tastebuds. So every year there’s usually a new twist, there’s always green beans and cranberry sauce and turkey but every year is a whole new experience even though it’s all familiar enough to feel like a real holiday meal.

Everyone oohs and ahhs at the right moments, showers Jensen with praise about his skill and says that they just can’t believe how he was able to do all this all by himself. Jensen, of course is the posterboy for humility and smiles coyly while batting those ridiculously long eyelashes in a way that makes Jared want to end Thanksgiving early and kick everyone out, and mumbles something about how it’s all in the preparation and anyway he did most of it in advance, _no one_ believes him.

Later when they’ve all collapsed on various available sofas and armchairs in the reception room Jensen’s set-up for relaxing after dinner Jared takes a  moment to take stock of the day.

So far, Jeff and his father seem to have become each other’s new BFF’s, having traveled even further down the long, winding and poorly lit legal roads of some to every one else present unknown civil rights case that apparently changed law forever even though no one knows it. And Jeff has, with Jared’s permission, already made plans to bring Gerri in as a consultant  on at least three current cases and two that they’re just starting.

Chad and Chris have gone all out with their particular, and too be fair very successful, brand of charm and are doing their very best to make Jared’s mother feel welcome.  Chad with his cougar friendly golden hair, bright eyes and boyish charm and Chris with his twang, flowing brown hair that looks way too carefree not to be meticulously styled, his unique mix between cowboy and native american style and intense, sparkling blue eyes. Judging by the slightly pink glow on his mother's cheeks they’re doing an excellent job, Jared would be just a little bit put out if he didn’t know that it was all harmless and his mother didn’t look so delighted with the attention.   

Mark has outdone himself and within two hours of meeting his parents has managed to book three viewings with them too see what  Mark described as, “lovely turn of the century harborfront apartments”, just perfect for when they come to visit, and really now when the reunion had gone so well there was sure to be many more of those. At first Sherri had tried to say that, although she of course hoped there would be many more and hopefully long visits now when Gerri had mostly retired, maybe it was a little bit early too look for property.

Mark had whole heartedly agreed that of course it was, he just got so _inspired_ seeing them both in this beautiful house that their son and his lovely partner now had settled down in, this very spacious house, spacious enough for maybe an addition or two…

At that last remark Jared had swallowed the wine in his mouth the wrong way making him cough and  had been mere seconds away from spraying Jensen carefully put together table with red wine but managed to get a hold of his napkin just in time.

Jensen had to an untrained eye looked unaffected but his slight hesitation in the middle of topping up Chad’s glass of wine let Jared know that he heard Mark loud and clear. Jeff, Chad and Chris just nodded in agreement making Jared feel like most of the people in the room had his and Jensen’s  life planned out a lot longer than they had.

Jared’s father had cleared his throat in what Jared’s sure he thought was a casual way and half stamerd half mumbled something about it being a good time to invest in real-estate.

Jared’s mother had gone even pinker and while trying to cool down by fanning herself with her napkin frantically had breathed out that they’d always loved New England and how Portsmouth was just such a lovely town.

Seriously though, The King of Hell, no doubt about it.

Jensen looks happy though, really happy. So all in all Jared’s going to crown Thanksgiving 2015 a success.

The rest of the week passes in a blur of sightings, spectacular home cooked meals and Jensen thriving in his role as host and homemaker. They visit Jared’s law firm, and when Jensen squeezes his arm and smiles at him while they watch Gerry inspect and obviously become impressed by the firm Jared has managed to earn a spot as a partner in, looking at Jared with respect in his eyes, Jared has to swallow once or twice extra.

Jeff secures a table at what’s considered the best restaurant in New England and Jared gets to watch first hand what happens when two straight men fall hopelessly in love, by the end of the week Jeff’s and Gerry's epic bromance is fast becoming a legend. Sherri couldn’t be more pleased that her husband finally has found someone to get down and dirty with in the dark, dank corners of forgotten and obscure legal cases and celebrates not having to listen to her husband going on and on about some legal technicality she could not care less about, now that he’s found someone who will.  Instead, she takes Jensen with her real-estate hunting with her new BFF, Mark.  

In the end Mark does not close the deal on a small harborfront turn of the century apartment, he does however sell Jared’s parents a one story colonial beachfront house, private dock included. Jared has no idea how a short visit turned into his parents buying a second home in the space of five days. But, seeing as the house is far enough away from his own and the thought of having his parents come visit while still staying at their own house, therefore not in his which means Jensen won’t go all prudish and go on a sexstrike. All in all Jared figures it’s a good investment for everyone involved.

Mostly for Mark though, who in the space of a few weeks has sold Jared’s family two beachfront properties. Bow to your King, minions.

Jared, along with his parents, finally get’s too see where Jensen’s been working during their separation. The way Jensen explains it he’s been involved in a support project for students with high potential but from academically impoverished environments. Basically, it’s just a fancy way of saying that the kids are really smart but their parents are poor and uneducated which in turn significantly lowers their odds of achieving all that potential they’re capable of. So, seeing as Jensen is both a fantastic teacher, and also very familiar with these kind of programs seeing as he spent most of his childhood and youth in those kind of programs, he’s been a perfect fit for these particular students. The principal greets them with enthusiasm, while looking directly at Jared and in an stern, matronly kind of way, talks about how Jensen is invaluable to this particular program, and how she hopes Jensen hasn't changed his mind about teaching and mentoring three afternoons a week, as he promised.

Jensen hasn’t changed his mind.  

Seeing the students reaction when Jensen enters the classroom and the way Jensen lights up when he’s close to them, Jared agrees that they really do have a very spacious house. Judging by the way Jared’s mother comes up beside him, sneaks her hand under his arm and leans her head against Jared’s shoulder, he figures she sees the same thing Jared does.

Things kind of speed-up, soon they’re saying their goodbye’s at the airport but just a blink of an eye later it’s Christmas and Jared’s at the airport picking up his parents again. Christmas goes by perfectly, everyone including Jared’s parents agreed that Jared and Jensen's house was the perfect place to celebrate and Jensen beams as he decorates, sends out his homemade Christmas cards, cooks, bakes and goes shopping with Mark looking for just the right antique ornaments for their tree. Jensen insists that Jared has to come too and explains all about how they live in a Victorian house after all, and now they have so much more space for a much larger tree which in turn means that they’ll need more ornaments, and seeing as they have to buy new ornaments they might as well splurge for period appropriate ones and, there were more reasons but Jared kind of zoned out and just opened his wallet anticipating the post-antique shopping sex.

Christmas is of course a success, Chad is doted on by Jared’s mother when it’s revealed that he will soon be going through his fourth divorce. For some reason his mother is quite taken with Chris and Chad and has semi adopted them, Jared would be a bit put out if it wasn’t for the fact that it seems to make her happy and them more likely not to be completely appalling when she’s around. Jensen takes it all very cooly and Chad looks a little hurt when Jensen doesn't dote on him, up until Christmas day when it’s revealed that apart from the same people who came for Thanksgiving, intern-Becky who is now a flattering honey blonde and has with a little help, adopted a very chic vintage look with a prominent fifties vibe, will also be joining them.

Everyone agrees that Jensen is just so generous and devoted to the well being of everyone at Jared’s firm seeing as he’s taking in their poor little intern when she’s got nowhere to go for Christmas. Jared, figures Jensen’s just fed-up with Chads messy divorces and has decided to take matters into his own hands, by grooming him the perfect wife to keep him in line.

Becky keeps following Jensen around like a lost but very affectionate puppy taking notes in her stylish notepad and paperclipping them to specific segments in her brand new Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook. Apparently, Santa sent it to her house Christmas morning in an emerald colored box artfully wrapped with a red satin ribbon, little white reindeers printed on it. Jared figures intern-Becky and all her ambition has realized who really holds all the power.

As Christmas draws to a close, everyone goes back to their everyday lives, well except Jared's parents, who've realized they like their New England everyday lives so much better than their Texas everyday life, and have decided to stay over New Year’s as well. Jared and Jensen might be going away but Sherri feels that Chad still needs a mother’s care, and since his mother isn’t there to do it she will. Gerry is reluctant to leave Jeff, there’s no particular reason for it, he just doesn't want to leave him.

Jared loads their luggage into the car as they start their journey to Paris, when Jensen’s not looking Jared reaches a hand into the inner pocket of his overcoat and squeezes the small box inside of it. It’s now or never, this trip has to be perfect, everything has to be perfect.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Martha Says:**

_“I was married for 30 years. Isn't that enough? I've had my share of dirty underwear on the floor”_

_ _

Contrary to what Jensen might think of him, Jared knows how to patiently construct and execute a plan, he also knows Jensen and what’s important to him. For this trip Jared’s arranged everything himself, Misha did a great job with their London trip but for this to work Jensen needs to see that Jared has really thought this through. He’s  booked a lovely boutique hotel in the middle of Montmartre, all Jensen has to do to  be smack in the middle of cobblestoned streets, vintage shops, antique stalls and small quirky shops is to step out of the hotel door.

They don’t have as much time as they did in London, but they manage all the big things like the Notre dame, the louvre, walking down the Champs elysee at night watching the fantastic Christmas lights making the long walk seem magical.  

Obviously they buy suits, you can not take Jensen to the Haute Couture capital of the world and expect him not to buy suits.

The walk along the Seine, buy crepes filled with nutella from a street vendor, drink red wine at eleven in the morning and eat fantastic food at fantastic restaurants, even though Jared insists that Jensen’s cooking is better. Finally when the clock starts counting down on New Year’s Eve, Jared takes Jensen to the Eiffel Tower and when the clock strikes twelve and people all around them cheer and wish each other a happy new year as the fireworks light up the sky around them, Jared goes down on one knee in front of everybody and proposes.

Jared doesn’t have a fancy speech or big words, it’s just a simple “will you marry me” but while thinking and planning this moment Jared’s come to the conclusion that it’s enough and it’s them. They’re not big declarations or fancy words, they just are, Jared and Jensen, two parts of one whole and standing on one knee on the cold wet concrete in front of Jensen with fireworks lighting up the skyline behind him, Jared hopes Jensen sees it the same way.

A large ring of celebrating people has formed around them and for a second Jared has the nauseating feeling that he’s got it all wrong and that Jensen doesn't want this at all. But then Jensen smiles, smiles in a way that makes Jared think that that famous tower behind him might be covered in lights but Jensen still outshines it, and says;

“Yes!”

The large crowd around them cheers as Jared gets up and takes out the two simple bands in white gold,  handing one to Jensen and together they place one on each others ring fingers. Someone hands them a champagne glass each, Jared has no idea where they came from but it’s New Year's Eve in Paris and Jensen just agreed to marry him, so frankly he’s got more important things to think about. So he drinks the free champagne, holds on tight to Jensen and wonders how the hell his life turned out to be so awesome.

They get married on June seventeenth. Without really knowing how it happened their wedding is _the_ social event to be invited to that summer.

As it turns out Mark (who else?) had recently handled the sale of a vacation home to a high ranking member of the editorial team of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. One thing lead to another and one day in February Jared had come home to find Jensen hyperventilating in the kitchen, his mother squealing in delight and Mark completely unfazed as he calmly explained that Martha Stewart Weddings magazine wanted to feature their wedding in a ten page spread, and front cover for their August number.

After that things kind of went a bit crazy.

Since Jared’s a third generation, highly skilled and influential lawyer and old money on top of that, practically Texas royalty, grandson of Joshua Padalecki, legendary judge, son of Gerald Padalecki legendary civil rights lawyer and now a successful lawyer and partner of his own firm. And on top of all that openly gay and about to make his stand for gay marriage, this marriage was a monumental occasion in the gay community, or at least that’s what the people at GQ said.  

Jared has no idea how they ended up being featured in an GQ article, it was something about his father representing someone who something, something, Jared’s not sure how he feels about that at all. Like he doesn't have enough to deal with. With seventy-five percent of the male population in New England trying to steal Jensen from him, now Jensen's picture’s  in GQ, and will soon be featured in Martha Stewart's Weddings, this wedding could not come fast enough.

All those things put together, along with some local articles, Jared’s fathers law-firms incredibly influential client list with the most prominent of them expecting an invitation, together with Jared’s law-firm and its prominent client list and the very top of that expecting invitations without either of them really understanding how it happened, Jared and Jensen's June wedding becomes the social event of the year everyone wants an invitation too.

Jensen approaches their wedding preparations like a general planning an invasion while still managing to actually stay reasonably sane and giving of the appearance that he’s actually enjoying the process. The planning and preparations actually go fantastically smooth and hinge free. In fact, the one time there is an actual “bridezilla”tantrum and freak out it isn’t Jensen, it’s everyone else, when they realise that Jensen can’t actually be expected to cook for his own wedding.  

But, when the day comes everything is perfect, it’s like the universe has lined up perfectly just to make sure Jensen gets exactly the wedding he’s planned. It’s a beautiful day, not a cloud in a shining blue sky and the warm summer sun shining, just warm enough for everyone to be comfortable without being too hot.

The deck leading up to the lighthouse Jensen wants to get married in front of has been set up with chairs and decorated in a tasteful and classic naval theme. All details have been meticulously planned and directed by Jensen.

The railing is covered in intricate white flower arrangements with pops of dark navy blue from bows in a thick satin ribbon. The chairs are covered in a flowing white muslin fabric and matching navy bows at the back. There’s no wedding arch, but at the front are two large flower arrangements made up from blue hydrangea, white roses and lilacs and blue lupine for height, on either side creating a closed in space in the front with the large lighthouse, the rolling sea and cliffs creating a fantastic backdrop.

Because of the dramatic miscalculation on exactly how big this wedding could be expected to be, the deck isn’t by any means long or wide enough to hold seats for all guests. It’s just enough room for family and close friends. They’ve had to extend the seating area way past the deck to accommodate the hundreds of guests that have been invited.

The old lighthouse keeper's house and the large lawn around it have been transformed into a fantasy in white and navy blues. Jensen's commissioned the same carpenter that made their dining table to build a large pergola from driftwood to cover the entire length of the long head table. The plan is to move the pergola to their own garden after the wedding and let it serve as the centrepiece for the new gardenscaping Jensen is planning. For now it’s covered in an array of  white orchids, white hanging wisteria and sweet smelling, white jasmine. The head table is positioned so the deep blue waters of the Atlantic Ocean serves as a spectacular backdrop.  

The other tables have not been forgotten and are adorned with delicate muslin tablecloths and centerpieces made up from  the same flowers that adorn the pergola.

Boxing in the entire reception area is a large wrought iron structure that in case of bad weather was supposed to serve as the base for a complicated partytent contraption, but is now instead covered in blue and white jasmine vines. From the structures roof small silver chandeliers, lit up by actual candles, are hanging down over every table. When evening comes the whole reception area sparkles in the most beautiful way from the natural candlelight hitting the prisms. In the middle of the reception area, there’s a much larger version of the chandelier, it’s Jensen’s version of a disco ball.  

Everything's been thought out down to the tiniest detail.

Even the food that had been the subject of many sleepless nights for Jared and the other members of their makeshift family had sorted itself out. As it turns out Jeff had handled an unfortunate lawsuit by a disgruntled rival to one of Portsmouths best restaurants and it’s two star Michelin chef. The chef in question was more than happy to do Jeff a favour and handle the food for the wedding. After talking to Jensen and seeing his carefully planned menu, the chef in question was ecstatic and promised that Jensen's wedding would be his greatest culinary triumph.

All in all the entire set-up is jaw dropping and without a doubt worthy of a ten page spread in Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine.

At precisely noon, all the guests have taken their seats and together Jared and Jensen walk up the deck, in their French, custom made, navy colored, tuxedos.

They’d debated who they would hire to perform the service but in Jared’s opinion it all worked out perfectly. Reaching the end of the deck and coming up to stand in front of the (thanks to the internet) newly ordained Gerald Padalecki, Jared thinks it’s fitting that his father is the one who finally marries them. It’s like they’ve finally, with one chapter of their lifes coming to an end and now, embarking on the next chapter, come full circle.

It’s not a long ceremony, no long speeches about god or love, honor and obedience. Jared and Jensen have lived together for twelve years, this is not them embarking on a new life together it’s them cementing what already is and will always be.

But despite all that Gerald Padalecki talks passionately about a love story that outshines all others, about what commitment and being devoted to one another truly means and how so very few people have the privilege and luck to find that one person they’re meant to be with. How he’s so grateful that his son, now standing in front of him wasn't just blessed with finding someone to love, but finding a missing part of himself, finding Jensen, and filling a large hole in himself and the family.

They haven’t written any lengthy vows, it’s just one line that they both repeat, a line that they’ve had inscribed in their wedding bands.

“Two parts of one whole.”

As they say the line to each other, Jared’s mother can’t hold it in any longer and starts sobbing loudly. It’s like turning on a tap and soon everyone is sobbing. When the final “I do” is said and Gerald declares them husband and husband there’s actual wailing, Jared would like to think it’s from deep emotion and happiness for the two of them, but looking at sobbing men sitting all over the place, Jared has a feeling the wailing is more out of intense grief and a final shattering of all hope.

Jared's smile is blinding as he walks down the deck with Jensen Padalecki on his arm. He meets every unconsolable man's eye’s with a gratifying “ _fuck you!_ ” look and smiles even wider when they wail even louder.

It really is the most lovely ceremony.

The reception afterwards is an enormous success, and even without the ravings in the article in Martha Stewart's Wedding Magazine, the Ackles-Padalecki wedding becomes a New England legend and thanks to another article in GQ, this time with their wedding photo on the cover, the wedding that all other gay weddings are measured to.

Over the years that follow all experts on the subject agree that even though there have been grander, higher profile and much more expensive weddings following this specific one, no one ever comes close to the sheer level of class and perfection as the legendary Ackles-Padalecki one.    


	12. Chapter 12

**Martha Says:**

_“I think baking cookies is equal to Queen Victoria running an empire.”_

They honeymoon in Italy, going on a three week round trip spanning over Florence, Venice, Rome and Milano. When they come home their luggage and their wardrobe is twice the size as when they left.  


Life settles into to that comfortable place where everyday life just kind of flows by in a steady pace while still feeling exciting and fresh.

Jared’s parents still officially live in Texas, but soon their trips back home really just serve the purpose of a wardrobe change and are discarded as they opt for hiring a caretaker for their Texas home and just replacing things they don’t have with them. By the time another Thanksgiving comes around they’ve not left New England for four months and seem very happy with that fact.

Jared’s father spends a lot of time at Jared’s firm mostly taking on pro-bono work involving LGBT related cases. One day he casually mentions the possibility of merging the family firm with Morgan, Kane, Murray & Padalecki, sure his is a family firm with a long tradition but there’s a Padalecki in this firm’s name as well.

Jared’s mother spends a lot of time volunteering at Jensen's afterschool program, when she’s not doing her best to straighten up Chad and Chris or plotting world domination over afternoon tea with Jensen, Intern-Becky and Mark.

Intern-Becky is a very ambitious student and on the same day as Chad’s fourth divorce is finalised he proposes to her. Jensen goes into full wedding planner mode and Chad and Becky’s spring wedding is all everyone talks about for weeks,  they even get a centre spread in Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine, and if Chad and Becky’s wedding doesn’t _quite_ hold up to Jensen's, no one blames him.

Chris spends most of the reception looking a little lost and quite devastated, not quite knowing what to do with himself now that Chad has a wife that’s being trained by Jensen. One thing is perfectly obvious though, Chad will never come to work in a crumpled suit or three o’clock shadow ever again, and he will always, _always_ sleep next to his wife.

But then Mark comes up next to him, pours him a large whiskey, casually sneaks his arm around his waist letting his hand rest on the small of his back, while his other casually pets Chris hair, smiles like a wolf just having taken down a pray and says;

“Don’t worry cowboy, I’ve got you.”

By the time Jared and Jensen’s first wedding anniversary comes around, they hold a big party in their garden. Once again they sit under their wedding pergola now covered in beautiful blue hanging wisteria and sweet smelling white jasmine vines, all part of Jensen's newly landscaped garden. This time Jensen does all the cooking.

The party is still in full swing when Jared, a bit tipsy from all the wine he’s consumed but still a bit chilled from the ocean breeze coming in over the night time garden, stumbles up the stairs to their walk-in closet looking for his new favorite sweater (his four-hundred dollar knitted cashmere, in a three cable knit pattern sweater). Being careful not to rummage around too much in Jensen's carefully organized shelves something catches Jared’s eye. High up on the top shelf is the scrapbook box, Jared had forgotten all about it with the wedding and everything else that’s happened over the last year. But as Jared remembers it, there was one scrapbook left.

Jared reaches up, takes down the box and in the bottom he finds the scrapbook he never got to read. The front page is blank and Jared realises it’s probably still a work in progress. Opening the book Jared’s met with nothing but blank pages, but he can see something sticking out in the middle so he opens the book on that page and finds three brochures.

Three brochures to surrogate mother agencies.

Jared sinks down on the floor and starts to leaf through the glossy pages full of pictures of smiling babies. Jared closes his eye’s and pictures one with green eyes and freckles.

When he opens them again Jensen is standing in the doorway looking at him. He looks a bit apprehensive, like he believes that maybe this will be the one things that is asking too much of Jared.

Jared doesn't agree;

“So, where do we start?”

Jensen exhales, smiles in that way that makes Jared think he could survive on only that smile, walks over to Jared and sinks down ontop of him and kisses him. The stay like that, excitement for the future, full up on love for each other and even though it really shouldn't be possible to fit in, a little extra because it’s their wedding anniversary and a whole lot of wine, (they really need smaller glasses).

Two hours later, their large family finds them sleeping cuddled together on their walk-in closet floor and beside them three open brochures to surrogate mother agencies. Jeff finds a blanket in their bedroom and carefully places it over them before they all leave, talking excitedly among each other already planning for the new arrival.

Waking up the next morning the first thing Jared sees is the empty scrapbook beside him. Looking at Jensens sleeping face one cheek resting against Jareds shoulder, he feels oddly excited.

This scrapbook is one they're going to do together.

 

The end

 

... or well, Jared will sit quietly beside Jensen as he does the scrapbook, and not in any way, shape or form interfere with what Jensen is doing. But he’ll be there!

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to: [Trendykitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trendykitty/pseuds/trendykitty) & [jillmariej](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JillMarie/pseuds/JillMarie%20) for all your fantastic Beta work!
> 
> You can also find me at: [livejournal](http://xen-fic.livejournal.com/) & [Tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xenodike82)


End file.
